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Poems And Limericks


oldguy

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Now gather 'round, folks - here's a question for today:

Which guys are straight and which ones are gay?

Cowboy Steven says he really likes boys.

When he rassles them steers he's a-thinkin' 'bout his toys.

When he's ropin' them calves out San Francisco way

He's wavin' to the crowd and yellin' yippee ki yay.

There's a feller name o' Jessie with a little bitty head;

Who do ya reckon he'd like to get into his bed?

Some folks are sayin' Memphis Bob, he may be bi;

Will he hanker for the cowpoke, or will a gal catch his eye?

There's a good-lookin' dude who goes by the name of Ollie

I'm a-bettin' he's straight, by gosh by golly.

Why can't we get some hot lesbians now and then?

Why can't they toss a crumb to us heterosexual men?

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:clap:

Awesome way to start off the season Oldguy!!! looooove it :)

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Brought a smile to my face. Glad to have you back old guy. Hope to see more of you this season.

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There once was a lady from Spring

They said she wasn't very mothering

Musta loved her three Kids

To do what she dids

I really hope she wins the whole thing

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Now we have Dan a Catholic teacher

Who played ball in front of HS bleachers

Doesn't like really smart girls

Women's lib makes him hurl

I've never cheered for such piggy creatures

Bring me a waitress from Hooters

My friends would like a round of shooters

Though she wants to be in zines

And she looks good in jeans

Her voice makes everyone mute hers

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Now there's a "hussler" from Tenneessee

Who has a degree in mixology

Doesn't cheer for the Vols

But rather chops for the Nols

Screw'em, I hope he's first to see Julie

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I'm liking Angie the drug dealer

Her bio claims she's a squealer

She looks strong for the comps

She's not against a few romps

She's smart and has sex appealer

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No matter how hard that I try

I rant and I scream and I cry

Limericks just seem to get stuck

In this so-called brain full of muck

While they flow from that poster Old Guy

(and quite a few others :wacko:)

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Smellin' melons, ole Jerry rises from bed,

He hates to leave the sugar plums dancing in his head,

Out to the living room he takes a step,

His family watches and says "Why all of a sudden does Jerry have pep."

He sneaks by the table and what does he see,

April jumping up and down and screaming with glee,

She says "Jerry come closer, I swear they are real."

So Jerry reaches out and cops a good feel.

Jerry heads off to the bathroom to splash water on his face,

And thinks to himself, the BB house is a great place,

Who knew there'd be gals with huge boobs I can touch,

This is better than the money, Ms. Grodner "Thank you so much."

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