Letters from inanimate objects to Houseguests

[Cajunboiler]

I didn't see this topic created yet, and I usually see it around this time. I just decided to go ahead and start it.

Dear new houseguests,

You are never leaving.

--The lock on the front door

[fredtheturtle]

From the faucets in the bathroom to all the men:

"Please use me after you use the bathroom dummy! You are on TV and everyone sees how gross you are!

[lena]

Dear Houseguests,

See that thing sitting next to me? It's called a washing machine. Think you can run your wet pool towels through a cycle in there before throwing them in me?

Warm fluffy regards,

The Clothes Dryer

[CeCiMom]

Dear Fingers,

Please leave me alone.

Thank you in advance,

Your nose (and the viewing audience)

[GingerSnaps]

Dear Grodner,

Please don't alter me based on viewer opinion.

Signed,

The Script

[stevea11]

Dear Hamsters,

Please move your microphone away from your mouths while feeding.

One more thing: MOUTHWASH!!!

Signed:

Mic Pack

[Mom]

Dear New House Guests,

See how nice the house looks when you first got here,

well I request that you make your beds every day and

put your clothes in those brown things against the wall.

Their my friends, call drawers. Since you walk all over

me all day long, I think it's the least you can do.

Thanks the Floor!

[lena]

Dear HGs,

Please, for the love of all that is holy...please don't put me in that locked room we haven't seen yet which hopefully won't contain a casket. I don't want to be the BB12 version of Howie's jack shack.

Sincerely,

anonymous coffin

[Cajunboiler]

Dear Andrew,

PUT ME DOWN!

Sincerely,

the bacon

[KatO]

Dear Houseguests-

Most of America cringed when someone with a Princess Complex threw us together. We ask that you leave your Diva outside the studio so that there won't be a repeat. Plus let's face it we just aren't compatible.

Hot Tub and Body Microphone.

[chopped_liva]

Morons, if you haven't noticed, I'm not REAL, so quit spitting on me!

The backyard!

[Cajunboiler]

Dear Rachel,

I am not a "Yom Kippur." Don't just say the first Jewish word that comes to your head.

Sincerely,

Andrew's Yarmulke

[straykat]

Dear Ladies of the House,

Sad that you needed the men to help you get a grip.

Weiner

[Califcyclone]

Andrew...now help me to understand

You can't eat me but you can put me on you?

The Hot Dog Costume

[Califcyclone]

Oh I'm glad that I'm a Big Brother Wiener

That is what I'm truly proud to be

Because that I'm a Big Brother Wiener

I got big buxom gals wrapped all round me

(to the Oscar Mayer Wiener song)

[ILoveDaniele]

Dear Rachel,

OWWWWW!!!

Signed,

You Bra

-Kyo

[KatO]

Memo to House Guests:

It's either me or water. Ha!

The waiting buckets of slop.

Also

Secret message from Storage Room.

I'll be a little lonely without all the random secret meetings in here. But I'm sure Production will give me a nice reward for this.

[Cajunboiler]

Dear Rachel and Brendon,

Wash me after you're done please.

Love,

The Sheets

[jersey721]

Dear Have Nots:

You think you have it bad? Try being us.

--The Jars In The Have Nots Bedroom

[gizzmotor]

Dear Rachel,

Please stop admiring yourself every time you pass me.

The Mirrors

[Slimcruz]

Dear Hayden:

Please do not wear me in public and pretend to be a ballet dancer or gymnast. It is humiliating.

Your Leotard

[luvmanatees]

To Enzo and Annie,

Please take me off when not in use outside in the sun. Hence the name. Your making me look bad.

Yours truly, SUNglasses

[straykat]

Dear Annie,

We are starting to deflate and look old and ragged. Enough.

Respectfully yours,

Pity Party Decorations

[kissesinVA]

Dear Houseguests,

Please wash us and put us away.

The Dishes and Bowls (still) on the Table

[lena]

To Enzo and Annie,

Please take me off when not in use outside in the sun. Hence the name. Your making me look bad.

Yours truly, SUNglasses

Glad I saw your post. I was SOOO just going to post something very similar to this! It annoys me even more with Annie because she never actually has them over her eyes!