Synnovea Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Actually I don't hate him. I hate his behavior. And you are arguing - you have been for about 5 posts now. As for my qualifications for speaking about abuse, well, I have some academic background but am not a professional (though have a great deal of involvement in and friendships with professionals in fields of domestic abuse). From a personal stand point if you need to know to help you understand where I'm coming from, I'm a masters educated feminist activist with undergraduate degree in social sciences emphasis womens studies. I also happen to be a reality show addict (at least some reality shows) where strategy seems to collide with emotionalism. While not the social experiment that most networks attempt to say they are presenting, they do end up being really interesting social experiments none the less with regards to introducing and spot lighting certain aspects of humanism. Oddly enough, the person that disturbed me most in the beginning was Kail. I really don't like the woman, and I abhor the bigotry she expressed on the show, but through Dustin I came to actually be more understanding of her (despite her being on exactly the opposite side of Measure 36 in Oregon than I was), and to hope that Dustin actually did have the positive influence that he attempted to have on her while she was stuck with him in the house. The more that relationship grew, the more happy I was for her to have stayed in the house and have had her alliance break up. It's possible that Dustin actually exposed her to the point that maybe, just maybe, Kail would be more accepting if one of her children comes home one day having to have the 'I'm gay' talk with her. But this is about Dick, so back to Dick. I'm not sure that he needs to be kicked off the show, and in a perfect world, CBS would be transparent about whether they have addressed his behavior. I'm not at all unaware of the premise 'the more commotion, the more promotion' that CBS seems to have with regards to outrageous houseguest behavior. That doesn't mean it isn't worth discussing and focusing on outside of the reach of CBS where behaviors can be outted as what we want to see as acceptible or unacceptible in our world. Many people feel that this sort of abuse is actually fine - how, after all, would the prevalence of abuse be what it is if not? But that doesn't mean that it is fine. It just means that certain segments of society either are oblivious to the effects of abuse, or are conducting abuse or victims of abuse themselves and therefore unable to look at it clearly. I expect most of the people on this board that are arguing that Dick is just being a shock-guest are mostly oblivious (or hope rather, that this is the case). But even so, if this is strategy, it's the first very clear and concise example of systematic abuse used as a game plan that I've witnessed. Not to say that I haven't seen the strategy employed before (read: Howie's Busto tirade). But again, the bottom line is whatever the reason it is happening, whatever the response ultimately is to it happening, it is still abusive behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvgal Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 King, I LUV it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synnovea Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 King; I saw that Dr. Who Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Synnovea go and read from today's housecalls or watch it with Kail and she is asked about her view of gays in regard to Dustin and she was very forthcoming. I think she was misunderstood in that area. http://www.cbs.com/primetime/bigbrother8/v...hp?wk=6&v=4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvgal Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Wow, Syn.........he really does get your goat I'm just amazed that someone who you are not connected to personally could get you so riled..........that's my argument............what I said I wouldn't argue about was your interpetation that it was "classic abuse".......you are obviously the expert (although I would be remiss not to match you master's with one of my own)...........these are grown up adult people who signed up to play a game for $$$$$$$$.......knowing as much as you do about abuse, I'm sure you'll agree that the abuser only has the power that is given to him/her by another........and, this group gave him the power from the start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Yes they did but it was out of fear of his intimidating yelling style. Oh and it doesn't matter for me that he's a stranger or someone on a TV show it's still abusive behaviour and it's not right. I don't find it entertaining at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synnovea Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Nice try Ivgal My goat is not gotten, I'm simply observant and unafraid to have frank and taxing debates about a subject that is important to discuss. Letting the behavior slide would be against my beliefs, and would serve absolutely no purpose other than perpetuating an acceptance of abuse that is far too common in a world that is supposedly as progressive and aware as ours is. MOD EDIT Edit: Cindy, I'm actually going to watch housecalls when I do my treadmill in a bit! It's the perfect timer for my walk! I'm eager to see what Kail has to say about her stay in the house and her feelings. Have to understand though, I'm a bit bitter about Oregons contentious debate/war over gay marriage that occurred between Portlander City peeps (which I fall under) and rural conservatives such as Kail. They made our state constitution a hateful and contradictory thing that was fortified by a corrupt (and now gone thank goodness!) politician who made some shady deals to further her agenda. It's hard to not be automatically resentful of her and her opinions about gay people when she has absolutely no idea about the lives she's affecting with her ignorance. I'm hoping that some of the ignorance is now gone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Yeah I agree. I am seeing a bit of a difference in master's degrees here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzle Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 They weren't excused at all Fizzle. Neither is Dick. I explained how they are different from the nerd herd. Please keep up. i am keeping up. i just dont agree with what you say. i guess that didnt come out clearer in my "wow". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Yeah I agree with that as well, this group is nothing like the nerd herd. They were blindly sickenly loyal to each other. This group will sell out the other in a heartbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetlj Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I'll still watch BB when Dick is gone... how about you? I don't think that CBS's rating will be affected. As a matter of fact I'm getting tired of the Dick and Daniel show every night on Showtime After Dark. I may watch it even more when he is gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I believe when Dick is gone you will see more of people's good or bad personalities come out. Right now, as Kail said, everyone walks around on egg shells hoping to avoid the rath of Dick. Great way to play eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvgal Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Edited due to previous edit. Syn, .........I see, you're really not angry with Dick, just making a point for the common good........so am I..........in my opinion, it does far more good to educate people that they can take the power away from the abuser rather than give them an excuse to crumble under it "oh my gosh, he was yelling".........and, for what it's worth, this is my very first day of "posting" (babysitting grandkids and just got bored), so your remarks about my using some previous posting tactics I've seen is so off base. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyA Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Give it a rest already .. The HGs knew from day one that Dick was all bark and no bite. Mod Edit. It may not be pleasant to be yelled at but big freakin' deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 How would you handle Dick missy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvgal Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Exactly Missy, mod edit abuser's can't abuse those who refuse to be victimized........but then ther's those who take no responsibility for their own actions because it's so much easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Ivqal how would you handle Dick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 cindyannie how would you handle Dick? well you asked me that question today and I answered you like Jen did or just walk away because argueing is not my thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvgal Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Same way........in my opinion, anyone who would take anything a low life like Dick says to heart is extremely insecure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindyannie Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 That is not my question. When Dick goes off on someone, remember Jen or Kail? he pursues them relentlessly for hours. He doesn't just come back now and then he follows them all over and never loses eye contact. Then he goes at it getting right up in their face and pointing and yelling spitting all over them. He says horrible hurtful things and humiliates you in front of the others so they can see how you handle this. You would just sit there and ignore him? mod edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShelbyLynn75 Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Marty how would you handle Dick? (I just wanted to fit in... ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElisabethF50 Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 im gone for a while, and this is STILL going on, is this EVER going to be dropped??? dick won't be evicted until he holds a knife to someones throat or actually LAYS a hand on someone. get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvgal Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 OK, I really thought about how I would handle it now.......I would say, "Dick, you're really being a dick" and then I would Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synnovea Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Ivgal - Yeah my comments were a bit condescending, but you (and a few others) have shown a rather large degree of flippancy that I think warrants at the very least a quid pro quo. Sorry if you took my comments about previous posts as soley directed at you (I'm speaking mostly of this thread though, so in that regards they are directed at you and the others taking the 'no biggie' stance). At any rate, you've been doing a lot of baiting and I'm not unaware of it. Neither are you. Missy - It's not just yelling, it's abuse and it's intimidation. Bark can be just as painful as bite and that is no lie. How could it be that children end up messed up in homes where absolutely no physical abuse takes place if that wasn't the case? It's all great and good to wish and hope that each of these individuals would be strong enough to sluff it off (like Jen has done admirably - not that I admire much else about her!), but it's also true that most of them were still getting used to the environment themselves and definitely are vulnerable in a way they have never been before. Now, again it can classified as Dick's game play or strategy, but it still needs to be identified as the abuse that it is. edit...and squabbling over 'funny' is pedantic. She explained what she meant by it, and now it's just a matter of pedantic people trying to win a point rather than accept that when she said it she meant funny/strange, not funny/haha. Her posts and questions are spot on. Sorry they make you all uncomfortable and defensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMVT Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I find all of this thread so interesting on so many levels. The house seems so paralyzed about what to do about Evil. They never come together to protest to either him or the producers and say that they want there to be a line that is not crossed. In fact they often run away and say how sorry they are to the recipient that "they" had to go through that" They all say they know what kind of person he is and yet they are shocked, shocked when he does exactly what he has told them he would do and has done before. Everyone in the house has said hatefull things that are over the line: Dick and his sexual language attacks, Dustin with his danielle is a skank comments, Amber and jameeka last night with dick. Jameeka was spoiling for a fight last night. She plopped down between danielle and dick and when they left, she followed dick in and took the high moral ground "that this is her house too and she can go where she wants" While it's true, she can go anywhere she wants, you can't then be shocked that the person you know will say horrible things, proceeds to say horrible things about you. I found her strategy of "i know you are but what am I" with him quite retarded and her failure to take into account what the whole group knew was going to happen I.E. Dick was going to go out in Blaze....a real passive aggresive attempt to bait him. That does not exscuse his language or behavior. but I hold the producers responsible for that. The line has been moved and moved again and still crossed and BB has made no serious attempt to reign EVERYONE in. Dick is a bully, but he certainly is an honest one. he said he would'nt attack them like he did Jen because they had integrity and morals. When they showed all that integrity by choosing to side strategically with a snake like ERIC, that had to know that all bets were off. The reason that i still actually Like evil is best exemplified by his spat with amber last night. When BB called AMber to the DR. Dick said to noone but the camera in the kitchen, but loud enough for amber to hear "Amber please cry like a bitch" when she asked what he said he did'nt say oh nothing...he said "i said please go to the DR and cry like a bitch"...Now i know he was mean, but he was mean to her directly, unlike Eric the weasel and many of the other HG who are only truly horrible and say some truly horrible things about the other HG's from the safety of behind their backs. The producers should take responsibility for lowering the bar and allowing the line to be moved and crossed repeatedly. LLM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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