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New Occupations For Hg's


oldguy

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I've been pondering new occupations for the houseguests . . . other than the ones they now hold.

Ollie . . . . . . . Anger Management Therapist

Jerry . . . . . . .Motivational Speaker

Libra . . . . . . .Lecturer on Good Parenting

Dan . . . . . . . Environmental Advisor to Al Gore

Renny . . . . . .Fraternity Housemother

Memphis . . . .Personal Fitness Trainer

Keesha . . . . .Snack Saleswoman

Michelle . . . . .Mud Wrestler

April . . . . . . .Stripper

Most of you posters are imaginative, creative and witty. I'll bet you can come up with better ones!

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Brian . . . . . . .Talk Show Host (ie. Leno, Letterman)

Angie. . . . . . .Mime

Steven . . . . . Gay Rodeo Cowboy (oh, wait he's already one ;) )

Jessie. . . . . . Tom Cruise

Ollie . . . . . . . Exotic Bird Sanctuary Administrator

Jerry . . . . . . .RETIRED

Libra . . . . . . .Contestant on "The Apprentice"

Dan . . . . . . . Environmental Advisory to Al Gore (this one's too good to change)

Renny . . . . . .Mascot at Dan's Football games

Memphis . . . .Ethics Professor at Harvard

Keesha . . . . .Dentist

Michelle . . . . .WWF Smackdown Champion

April . . . . . . .Porn Actress

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Great Idea, Old Guy (as per usual!)

I see our HGs launching show biz, film careers:

April and Ollie set to star in love story of Barack Obama's parents.....

Angie and Memphis play "Jerry and his $20 whore in Korea."

Screenplay by Keesha, Makeup/hairdressing Renny, Backshaving by Dan, Produced and Directed for Lifetime Movie Channel by Jerry with his $500,000 winnings. Imagine Jerry harrassing Memphis during filming..."Cut...cut..Act like a Man, Memphis, act like a Marine!"

Jerry at your local carnival as "Sabu" the geek who bites the heads off live chickens....

Michelle works as Barker who pulls in the rubes..."Step right up, ladies and gentleman, see the strongest man on Earth bite the head of a chicken right before your very eyes..."

Brian, Steven and Dan co star in Big Screen remake of "Queer as Folk"...

Libra replaces the "warm up" singer on the Jay Leno Show you only hear ending a song when show returns from commercial too soon.

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Brian . . . . . . .Drafted as an Amazing Race Contestant but only watches the season with Rob and Amber gets Philminated quicker than Big Brother Allision.

Angie. . . . . . .The New Marlboro Man

Steven . . . . . Angie's Back-up for Marlboro Man

Jessie. . . . . . Professional Sign Flipper on Freeway offramps - signs on for a reality show around annual Las Vegas sign flipping convention.

Ollie . . . . . . . Next Mentos Ad Model and smile model for Zoom Teeth Brightening

Jerry . . . . . . .Political Lobbyist - cause he can sway votes.

Libra . . . . . . .NY Times Best Selling Novelist replacing Dr. Spock and Dr. Sears as standard for parenting tips.

Dan . . . . . . . Catholic High School Coach

Renny . . . . . .Float Queen, Grand Marshall or Overseeing Pubah for the Next Mardi Gras parade

Memphis . . . .Mixology Critic on the Food Network

Keesha . . . . Hooter's Head Hostess or she will get an more upscale Hostess Job at where Janelle works

Michelle . . . . .Hot Dog Sales at Boston Ball Games

April . . . . . . .Wife and Mother - cowrites book with Libra on how to properly raise bi-racially mixed children in modern day America.

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Ollie-- Offical hat stretcher at local LIDS store

Jerry--- Pool boy

Libra--- Writes book "How to Spend 15 Quality Minutes With Your Children Each Month"

Dan--- Orkan man

Renny--- Hilary Clinton's fashion advisor

Memphis--- Outreach phone operator

Keesha--- Cartoon voice overs

Michelle--- Wrestles gators at roadside show

April--- Host of the all new "Tales From The Crypt

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Brian . . . . . . .Marries Angie and they don't invite Keesha to the wedding.

Angie. . . . . . .Marries Brian and they go on Amazing Race together

Steven . . . . . Donates sperm to Keesha and they have a child together.

Jessie. . . . . . Runs for Governor of California

Ollie . . . . . . . Lollipop tester in a factory

Jerry . . . . . . .Meeter Greeter at Walmart

Libra . . . . . . . Writes a book titled. How to raise children without being there

Dan . . . . . . . Dan becomes political adviser to President McCain.

Renny. . . . . . .Becomes a nanny to the baby Keesha has through artificial insemination with Steven

Memphis . . . . Goes into business with Mike Boogie as a partner running the restaurants.

Keesha . . . . . Has a baby with Steven through artificial insemination.

Michelle . . . . . Found living homless on the streets and begging for food.

April . . . . . . . Has quadruplets with Ollie and 2 are white and 2 are black

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Brian . . . . . . .Concierge in a Ritz-Carlton

Angie. . . . . . .Wife of a Senator - living in D.C.

Steven . . . . . Talent coordinator for Miss America contestants from Texas

Jessie. . . . . . Ballet Dancer with the Fort Worth Ballet

Ollie . . . . . . . Circuit City's Employee of the Month

Jerry . . . . . . .Wal Mart greeter

Libra . . . . . . .Mayor of a major eastern seaboard city

Dan . . . . . . . Democrat Porn Star with homes in L.A. and Aspen

Renny . . . . . .Memphis' well-paid Assistant

Memphis . . . .Owner of the largest strip club chain in the world

Keesha . . . . .Daycare employee and the mother of five

Michelle . . . ..Works on a deepwater fishing boat out of a small town in Maine

April . . . . .....A Las Vegas Blackjack dealer married to a used-car salesman

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Brian - New Calvin Klein underwear model

Angie - Promotes Botox, without ever having any

Steven - Brian's dresser at Calvin Klein

Jessie - Buys Jack LaLanne franchise

Ollie - Professional birdwatcher

Jerry - No job due to pool injury - in a body cast

Libra - Divorces and marries Obama, becomes 1st lady

Dan - Becomes a priest

Renny - Stars in Grey Gardens as Little Edie

Memphis - Limo driver

Keesha - Voice and elocution teacher

Michelle - In Dr. Drew's recovery program

April - Married O.J. Simpson

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Brian . . . . . . .one week artist

Angie. . . . . . .tobacco lobbyist

Steven . . . . . cry me a river scout

Jessie. . . . . . muscle inspector

Ollie . . . . . . . Cowardly Lion

Jerry . . . . . . .awolployee

Libra . . . . . . .joe clark principal

Dan . . . . . . . judas

Renny . . . . . .Nurse Mildred Ratched

Memphis . . . .bartender

Keesha . . . . .tooth fairy

Michelle . . . ..lunatrist

April . . . . .....hoestress

jmho

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Shipp...Renny as Little Edie in Grey Gardens...priceless!!! Sheila (BB9) could play Big Edie.

Hope Renny gets out those flaming batons out tonight and chases Jerry into the (emptied) pool if he suggests another Luao!!!!

:animated_rotfl:

Also Steven could work as Fluffer in Dan's new Porn Flicks!!!

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Brian ...... Working for a Temp agency

Angie ...... Gains 30lbs and becomes Keesha's new BFF

Steven .... Becomes a Packer at "The Original Frankenmuth Fudge Kitchen"

Jessie ...... Editor at Webster's Dictionary

Ollie ........ Becomes a politician due to the realization that his inability to keep promises makes him perfectly suited to the job

Jerry ....... Becomes the next Clara Peller. He signs a lucrative contract for an advertising campaign for Budweiser using the new catch-phrase "Where's The Beer?"

Libra ....... New spokesperson for Jenny Craig

Dan ........ Sex toy for Marty

Renny ..... Writes a best-seller entitled "Bi-Polar - Prepared For Any Occasion". Currently incarcerated. During book promotion tour, she assaulted Dr. Phil while screaming "F-ing Old Bastard"!

Memphis .. Refrigerator

Keesha .... Finally makes it big in the movies. She becomes the top sales person at the Snack Bar at the local cineplex

Michelle ... She's Jessie's assistant at Webster's Dictionary. She in charge of the little pronunciation thingies

April ........ Still a HO

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My Husband has no idea why I am sitting at my computer laughing hysterically at Big Brother stuff.

Creative threads like this is why I love this site...thanks Old Guy for starting this one.

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Libra - vice presidential running mate

Renny - new star of the cooking network

Keesha - spokeswoman for tater chip manufacturer

Memphis - pimp (it's the hat)

Jerry - activities director at the Senior Center (his favorite activity, the booger olympics)

Dan - actor, playing the role of Judas on Broadway

April - $10 ho

Ollie - hmmm, I got nothin' - he'll still be a worthless piece of crap

Steven - plays the lead role in Heath Ledger's life story

Jesse - selling shrunken heads online

The rest of em' have been gone too long for me to care.

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Sono - Jerry, "Where's the Beer" I'm laughing too hard here (and at all your picks).

The rest of you of course, all most excellent, and great fun. So many favorites, too many to list. I applaud this creative group. :clap:

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Hooray for all the well thought post!!! I'm surprised that there hasn't been more comments if just to compliment each one of you for taking the time with describing each HG so accurately!! I cannot tell who had the best occupation after the finale, but I did like LinRay's take on movie careers with April and Ollie leading the pack as parents of Barak Obama. Then Shipp saying that April was married to OJ, ROTFL... Keep up the good work...These description's should be posted and saved in the archives. Four thumbs up!!!

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