Jump to content

Letters From Inanimate Objects To Bb8 Houseguests


Recommended Posts

This was my favorite thread last year and did not see it started yet...

Join in the fun

Dear Jen:

Our legal department contacted Mensa to see if there might be a copyright problem with a shirt line bearing "Jensa Member"...the people on the other end were laughing so hard that we think the answer is no.

Also, our Sales division has yet to find the niche for your shirts...we are testing skanky ho's right now, we will keep you posted.

Signed,

Acme T-shirt Maufacturers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 214
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Dear Houseguests,

Though you may not see me, rest assured I'm here... and trust me, I am just as disgusted with my current state as you are.

I am working hard to remedy the situation, but there's only so much I can do from here. She has me, metaphorically speaking, between a rock and a hard place.

Yours truly,

Jen's perma-wedgie.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Dick,

I can only imagine the inner turmoil you must be facing right now upon being faced with your estranged daughter. I can sympathize with your plight. But I have to ask that you stop taking out your frustrations on me.

Not only is it wrong to punish me for the misdeeds of others, but when you do so.. when you lash out at me in anger waiving your fists and flinging me around the backyard.... you kinda look like a tattooed pixie spreading her rock and roll pixie dust.

Sincerely,

The little ribbon on a stick thingy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dear Kail,

trust me, i dont care to see any part of your nakid butt. i mean, even in clothes you are not a pretty sight. so by all means, pee and poop all you want.

signed,

the camera above the toilet

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(Muffled)

Dear Jen: Get this damned potholder off me will you?

I'm watching for you with my one good eye.

Sincerely,

Your lousy picture on the wall

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Kail,

your makeup bag is over on the counter and should be used often, not just on thursdays. i am about to break into a million pieces.

no love and scared to pieces,

the mirror in the HOH

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear BB Houseguests,

To those of you eating BB slop. Try mixing some of me into your slop. I'll really improve the flavor!

Sincerely,

That 70 pounds of butter wrung out of your hair

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Kail,

You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl. Come back to us, you li'l ol' sweet thang, you. We all miss you.

Love,

The Country Inn

The Country Store

The Country Motel

The Country Real Estate Company

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Jen:

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah...you've got a lovely butt...

Whatever,

so get off me would you

The Treadmill

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Dustin,

It's not that I don't enjoy our alone time together, but this is getting ridiculous.

Luv,

The huge bottle of lotion

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Mike,

When you are cleaning around the toilet, wear condoms on me, please.

Trust me,

Your knees

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nick:

No, it doesn't mean you are gay to me (wink, wink) if you want to replace Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman with Joe and Dustin on your top 5 list.

Sincerely,

Your Cell Phone

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.








×
×
  • Create New...