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Utopia Recap: 2014-10-17


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Friday, October 17th, 2014


**Note: Since Utopia is down to once a week now, our recaps are going to include some items only available online, we hope it gives a clearer and more meaty update!**


This Time

Stealing food, stealing art, stealing a kiss, just another day in the criminal enterprise that is Utopia.  And oh ya, there was a wedding and a breakup and a trial.


Hijacking the Art, Ditching the Artist

During Kristen's capitalist takeover of Utopia Rob made a comment that if someone had a great business they would just vote them out and take it over.  Well, he is making good on his threat, I really thought he was kidding, but the Utopia Mafia (Rob, Mike, Aaron, Kristen and Taylor) is planning on keeping all of Bella's art, which is selling really well, but getting rid of Bella at the end of the month. 


Bella noticed that her art was missing from the Utopian web page.  She asked Kristen about it, and was told all her art was up on eBay, of course it wasn't, because the Mafia has taken it off the web until after Bella is voted out so they can take the profits for themselves.  Bella looked on eBay and caught Kristen in the lie and now Kristen is telling her she doesn't have enough time to put all the pictures back up on the web page.  I expected a lot of slimy, shifty, shady stuff from some of our pioneers, but this??? It also seems stupid to get rid of the goose if she is still laying the golden eggs.  The weirdest part of this nasty plan is that Bella knows what they are doing, but she hasn't decided what to do about it.  Note to the Mafia, don't forget Bella carries a knife everywhere she goes.


Food-Crime and Punishment


Our food Czar Aaron is at it again, no not stealing money from the group, no not bigger portions for his friends, no not padding the grocery list with food bribes (wheeew) this time it's stealing Josh's mayonnaise.  Here is the play by play:

Josh: Aaron did you use all my mayo for dinner last night?

Aaron: I thought it was Red's mayo.

Josh: Did you not see my name on the mayo five feet tall written in black sharpie?

Aaron: Josh if you keep being a dick and antagonizing me I'm going to knock the shit out of you.

Josh: You threatening me?

Aaron: Yes, I did.

Josh: I love how your response to any confrontation is fighting.

Aaron: When you push people that's what happens.

Josh: What are you gonna do? Do something!

The "something" turns out to be Aaron pushing Josh with his finger tips explaining that is what it feels like to Aaron when Josh speaks to him.  Josh says "don't touch me, I'm using words".  Aaron says "I don't know what else to tell you" "Well that's not going to work here is it?" says Josh, Aaron gives up and says "write it up", Josh says "alright, I will".


The trial begins, the first rule the Utopian's adopted (unanimously) was no physical violence, and no threat of physical violence.  The mayo jar is introduced into evidence as Exhibit A.  Aaron is found guilty as sin, but both Aaron and Josh have to do one hour of Anger Management with Amanda and Aaron has to do an hour of "tilling the earth" in the garden.  Everyone seems good with their solution and Josh and Aaron agree with the punishments.  It's important to note that Mike presided over the trial and gave a big smile when he banged the gavel at the end of the trial.  That does not last.  As you heard at the end of the episode Utopia will be off next week for the World Series, but they teased a HUGE, LIFE CHANGING EVENT to come.  I hate to tell you, but it's not. 


Mike decides after seeing Aaron work in the garden with a pick axe that it looks too much like slavery.  He takes the axe from Aaron and throws it over the fence.  Chris is working right alongside Aaron and wants to know what the hell Mike is doing?  Mike says this is crazy shit, and tells Aaron (who he is in the Mafia with don't forget) not to do any more work.  Aaron never says a word, but Chris asks why Mike set up a court system then?  Mike has no real answers here just base emotion.  After the melt down the group tries to have a meeting about racism that Aaron says he doesn't have time for and Amanda assures Chris that he is a not a crazy racist for thinking it was ok for Aaron to work in the garden.  Which Aaron will be doing anyway next week when Nikki takes over the kitchen.  Everyone recovers nicely and the money game takes center stage again, right where it belongs.     


The Wedding

Rob and Jessica got hitched, it cost the group $750.  Done.  Oh, wait, Pastor Jon married them, and it looked like every other wedding you have ever seen on TV.  Done and Done.


Side Show Freaks & House Keeping

The Utopia website nick names EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, but they did come up with a good one for Jake the beekeeper.  He is now JFB, Jake the fucking beekeeper for screwing up Mike and Dedekers "relationship"  Dedeker gave Jake a kiss at the gate and even though Mike doesn't know about it, his spidey senses are tingling.  When confronted with the fact that he kissed "fan girl" Melissa, he says "that's different".  Ha!!!  He moved out of Dedekers pad and on to bachelor skid row on the other side of the barn.  Dedeker plays it very calm and cool but later goes out to cry alone under a tree.  Rob finds her (he is in full press 1950's 2 piece plaid jammies) and comforts her.


Cal and Nikki seem to still be working on a relationship although how she can stand the smell no one seems to know.  Maybe Nikki is "nose-blind" because there is talk of voting Cal out just to improve the air quality.


Ca$h gets to go out to the pasture with Mama Honey and Auntie Betsy, happy cows live in California remember?


Enrique the rooster got the job done and a brand new chick is born in Utopia, no, not a another Bri, a real baby chicken.


Bella caught the bouquet from the wedding and a very very drunk Josh tried to bed her... twice.  Bella declined.  Bella maybe be bat shit crazy, but she is nobody's booty call!


Next Time

The racial blow up and who is in the lead for the recycling vote? Aaron, Bella or Cal?  Kristen accidentally leaves the comments section "on" while writing a blog and the results are devastating, but true.  Is Haylor on the outs?  Any bets on how long that lasts considering Bris is back at pomegranate lane?  Will Josh really be interested in Bella now that she turned him down?  Tune in Friday Oct 31st for the answers to these questions and everything else we have picked up on the live feeds.

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