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Utopia Premiere: 2014-09-07 (Sunday)


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September 7th, 2014 was the premiere of Utopia, the new reality series created by Big Brother creator Jon De Mol.  It was technically day ten for our Pioneers, but the show flashed back to the first three days of their Utopian experience.  There are no camera men, or production crews lurking behind any walls, or hiding behind any trees, these people are completely on their own.  No rules, no religion, no government and seemingly no innate ability to compromise or get along. 


Utopia is a 5 acre spread NW of Los Angles with 130 cameras, some obvious, some not so obvious.  They begin their experience with $5,000, a barn, some live stock, a pond, water fall and a precious little amount of food.  Electricity and plumbing is theirs for the taking if they can figure out how to connect into the facilities near the entrance gate.  Their job essentially is to create a working governing system, provide basic amenities and find a way to make money or the experiment ends.




We begin by meeting our pioneers. An interesting twist is each month a new pioneer will be considered to join the group.  Once all 14 or the pioneers have arrived they sit around a table in the barn and begin the process of determining what stuff they have brought with them will be allowed to stay and what must go.  They have a giant crate in front of them and only what will fit will stay.  This immediately sets of Dave our ex-con from NY.  He is not having any of this, he is taking all his stuff and he is screaming at the top of his lungs so everyone knows it.  He and Bella our survivor "prepper" begin a screaming match that everyone else try's to deescalate.  Ultimately Dave dumps all his stuff in the large crate and the problem is solved.



Our pioneers spend some time touring the compound, there is one toilet some distance away, a bag full of water for a shower, a barn to sleep in (no beds), a cow, some chickens, and a few goats.  There is also the pond and the waterfall.  The ladies begin to shed their clothing, all of it, and dive right in.  Jonathan a Pentecostal Pastor has a really difficult time with this and prays to God to help him resist temptation.  The girls are oblivious to his discomfort as he is careful to keep his back to them.  He spends his time with Red, a handyman, they discuss the bible and get to know one another. 


In the late afternoon they break out the liquor.  Everyone seems to be having a good time until Josh, our carpenter, has just one too many.  He becomes staggering drunk, aggressive and very touchy feely with the lady pioneers.  No one is happy about this, Hex, an unemployed 'Huntress', tries to talk to him about his actions and he grabs her butt, and then her face going in for a kiss.  Rob, the gun loving Libertarian, dives between them, trying to move Josh away from the situation.  Eventually Josh begins talking smack about Dave who promptly tackles him and brings him to the ground.  It is determined that Josh will sleep in the shed for tonight and the pioneers will discuss what to do in the morning.


Pastor Jon and Aaron, our chef, have a conversation about God and Jesus, Aaron is adamant that Jesus was not god, we was a man born from Mary and Joseph, he is very abrasive.  He repeats several times that Joseph f'd the sh*t out of Mary. Jon keeps his cool but it's clear that Aaron is very agitated about the pastors religion. As the pioneers bed down for the night, outside under the stars, Bri, a veterinarian, and Chris, a chili farmer, cuddle up together and begin a very passionate make out session.  Love at first site?  Doubtful.


In the morning, we see Hex, who had quite a bit to drink herself last night, puking her guts out on the ground outside.  It is determined she is unfit for work and should lay down.  Josh is still sleeping his bender off in the shed.  Morning chores commence such as milking the cow, collecting the chicken eggs, cleaning the stable, etc.  Hex is not getting any better as the day progresses, she can't keep any food down and medical personal arrive and take her away in an ambulance.  Josh finally wakes up and brings everybody together in the barn so he can apologize for his behavior last night.  Mike, the vegetarian lawyer, says that's fine and we all want to talk about it, but not until Hex returns since she was the aggrieved party.  Josh agrees, he spends the rest of the day working and privately apologizing to most members of the group.  Josh begins digging a trench in the 100 degree heat with a pick axe for electrical wiring, while at least 7 of the other pioneers lounge around naked in the pond. Soon we see Hex return telling everyone she was dehydrated and had an IV, she is fine now. 


Everyone convenes in the barn to address Josh.  He apologized to everyone including Hex.  She says she understands and believes in second chances because she's had "trouble" with drinking in the past and knows what it like to wake up the next morning and have to apologize to friends and family. Mike presides as the Judge and they vote 7 to 6 to keep Josh under certain probationary rules.  This vote was similar to everything the pioneers have tried to do as a group, very contentious with a lot of screaming and ultimatums thrown around.  Dave and Aaron have a particular problem with this system of justice, Aaron is asking if this is a democracy or not??  But give no explanation for his words, he and Rob just storm off saying that Josh is staying and that is that. Josh will not be able to drink for 90 days, and any further sexual or physical harassment will result in a call to 911 (they don't have a phone yet, so that would be a good trick) and he will be banished.  Bella was originally on the side to keep Josh, then after some discussion, she wanted him gone.  After giving Josh his probationary sentence, she has a minor breakdown saying "this is not her Utopia" and softly cries. 


Amanda announces to the group that she is pregnant and is due in Nov or Dec.  She says this in a very clipped and curt tone of voice.  She does not smile, nor will she reveal who the father is or if she is in a relationship with a man or woman. 


Mike and Josh trying to prioritize a list of projects to be done are educated by Bella who explains about using the chickens to till the soil.  She explains you put a box on top of the chicken and it scratches and fertilizes the soil.  She calls it a chicken tractor.  Bella later tells Josh she is glad he is staying and begins to giggle, toss her hair around and bat her eyes at him.


Hex and Pastor Jon have a polite conversation about him being a pastor and her being an atheist, she asks him about his discomfort concerning the girls bathing naked together.  He explains that it is not the naked form that bothers him, it's the temptation it brings with it.  Hex defends herself by saying she did not choose her body, Pastor Jon says he understands, it's just difficult for him.  Without being asked, Hex speaks to the women and tells them of Pastor Jon's dilemma, they agree they will set aside some time for the Pastor to be in the waterfall and pond area privately.  As the day comes to an end, Bri and Chris cuddle up in a hammock together as the rest of the pioneers either sleep outside or bed down in the barn.


Today is Sunday and Dave's Birthday.  Pastor Jon presides over a small gathering of pioneers, he discusses baptism. Dave, Nikki, Bella, Red and Amanda attend the service.


Bella finds a dead chicken in the coup and wonders if it is edible.  Aaron the chef says no, he would not feed it to his dog, but Red calls that baloney.  Red walks away to get a glass of water from the hose in the stable, he lets the water run for a long time, Bella is outraged by his wasteful display. She tells him there is a drought and they only have a very limited supply of water.  Red becomes more enraged and runs to the spigot to turn the water up even higher.  Bella turns the hose off, he turns it back on, Bella calls for help from the others but they want no part of the argument. 


Rob tries to show Hex what a great bow man he is, but archery seems to be Hex's specialty and she smokes him with one shot dead in the center of the bull eye. Rob says it was an ok shot for a girl. 


Red begins to talk badly about Bella and the water incident, implying she took the hose from him when he was getting a drink.  She comes storming over to him and says "don't spread lies about me, when all I said was we should conserve water". Red begins arguing with her as she is walking away, she says he is a hot head, and he calls her a dumb bitch.  Arron is standing right there and tells Red to watch his mouth.  Red begins an intense argument with Aaron, they go toe to toe, forehead to forehead and scream it out. Aaron threatens to pound Red into the dirt if he doesn't get away from him.  They are both posturing, but Aaron has the height and the weight to back up his threats. 


Five or our lady pioneers sit in a meadow far away from the turbulence brewing back at the homestead and talk about menstruation, meditation and yoga.


It's been hours since the argument between Red and Aaron, but Red has not stopped talking about it for one minute.  He has now decided he is leaving.  He gathers his stuff and heads to the gate.  Dave tries to talk him out of and tells him that Red is his favorite person there "please don't leave, not on my birthday brother, come have a drink with me and we will talk it out" Dave tells him.  Red eventually agrees and has a drink with Dave.  He spends some time talking it out with Dave and Pastor Jon.  When Red finally returns to the barn, Aaron apologizes very sincerely to him.  As the group gathers just before bed, Aaron takes the time to apologize to the whole group for his threats of violence and says it was "not very becoming of him as a person or a Utopian."  Everybody hugs.


That is the end of the premiere, hope to see you all back her on Tuesday 8/7c for the next episode.  Remember, the 2 camera feeds are free and you can by the whole package for $4.99 a month.  You can stop the feeds at anytime.  Please read the instructions for further details.

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