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Blue Collar TV


ART VAN DELAY
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Guest XandraSkye
Boy, it looks like you guys are really having fun in this thread. I've never watched this show. Maybe I should check it out.
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You guys have knocked my socks off with this thread. I've not heard a lot of these one-liners either. Thanks!

Another thing that just nails me when I watch these guys is when they crack each other up. There are just hysterical.

XS, if you have a chance to see any of the Blue Comedy Tour movies, go for it. Comedy Central just finshed running them, but Netflix has them I think. (BTW, I'm loving my membership!)

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Art where are you???????????

GIT-R-DONE!

Here I am, Sweets !!!!!! :P:P:P

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A REDNECK IF ....................................................................Your girlfriend lives with her other boyfriend.

Every time you break up with your girlfriend you get to sort out the gifts you gave her, after taking them off the hood of your pick up.

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You Might Be a Redneck If...

You actually like Spam.

You serve macaroni and cheese at a formal dinner.

Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

You can talk for more than 20 minutes on the differences between squirrel and rabbit stew.

You get your daily requirement of fiber from toothpicks.

You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.

You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You think ribs come from Europe.

You think truffles are a brand of potato chips.

Your greatest accomplishment is the 10-pound turnip that you grew.

You stockpile pork and beans.

You think buying from the good humor truck is ordering ala carte.

Bar-b-que is a daily thing.

You think beef jerky and moon pies are two of the major food groups.

Your favorite dessert is Sardine Cobbler.

Your chili's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.

You've ever eaten out of a minnow bucket.

You barbecue Spam on the grill.

Your idea of a seven course dinner is a Quarter-Pounder and a six-pack.

In an effort to watch your cholesterol you eat Spam Lite.

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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ................................................................................

Socks in bed turn you on.

You've used lard in bed

Someone yells hoe-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You've ever had to move a car seat to make love. :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :

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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ...................................................You cut your wedding cake with a chain saw.

You have an Elvis Jello mold.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.................................................Your idea of talking during sex is, "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

:rofl :rofl :rofl

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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ...............................Your mamma carries a wrench and a comb in her back pocket.

Your mother drives a tractor-trailer and her friends call her "Butch". :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

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You might be a redneck if............................................ You and your dog share the same name.

You've ever named a child after your dog.

Your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and nobody notices.

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

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Guest CrazyB

Ok I thought I was the onlyone who loved this show!!! I watched the Comedy hour a few weeks ago and when he went off on the corn dog's under the sea !!! (Still laughing) I AM A DORK FISH!!!! OMG!!! I So love it!!!

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You Might Be a Redneck If...

You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.

You wake up in the morning already dressed for work.

You have to dress up the kids to go to Wal-Mart.

Three quarters of your clothes have logos on them.

Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

Your tractor, hat, and coat are the same color.

Your clothes are older than you.

You wear your softball uniform even on the days you're not playing.

You go clothes shopping at Goodwill.

Everybody can tell what kind of underwear you wear.

People are afraid to touch your bathrobe.

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You Might Be a Redneck If...

You secretly get your firewood from your neighbor's yard.

You've ever tried to marry a judge just to get out of paying a traffic ticket.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.

If the entire police force of your town knows you on a first name basis.

If you have a 'reserved' cell at the police station.

You ever held a family reunion in jail.

The last time you saw your daddy outside, he was picking up trash, chained to three other guys.

You've ever changed the numbers on your house so the police can't find you.

You've ever committed a crime with a lawn mower.

You hear a siren and your first instinct is to hide.

You regularly see kinfolks on "America's Most Wanted."

You've ever stolen a bulldozer

You list your parole officer as a reference on a job application.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D." and you respond "About Whut?"

You and your friends are putting an engine in a pick-up truck, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!

You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You've ever hitchhiked naked.

You get homesick watching cops.

The FBI surrounded your trailer park twice so far this year.

You've ever held a guy over your head because of a fight over a CB radio.

You've ever been pulled over by the Coast Guard.

You slash open boxes of cereal with a knife because you consider yourself a serial killer.

You help booby trap your family's marijuana crop.

You've ever gotten into a fist fight in a Laundromat over a dryer.

You buy a police scanner to keep up with your relatives.

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