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Letters from inanimate objects to the Houseguests


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Dear Will Has it not benn 3 months yet. PLEASE quit putting me in your nasty mouth. I dont like it.

Not Sincerely Yours

Toothbrush

Dear Other Hg

Can you please put me in the toilet or something soI can get replaced? I dont want to be in his mouth anymore.

Sincerely Yours

Wills toothbrush

PS Boogie Toothbrush said the same He wants to be rescued as well

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Dear Erika,

I can tell you're new at this baby. It's OK...just put me in your mouth and let nature take its course. We all have our first time and I promise I will be so gentle with you. All you have to do is give me the chance to go where no other has ever been and I swear I'll leave you wanting more. Just let me be the first and you won't regret it......

I'll be waiting for you...

Boogie's Birthday Cake

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Dear Howie,

I snuck this letter in and left it under your pillow.

I am so lonley without you. I feel so deflated. I cannot wait for you to come home. I miss your gentle caressing and your soft lips. Please, hurry back to me.

All my love,

Your blow up doll

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Nakomis:

Perhaps you could consider us for a change...

Clairol Nice N Easy Standard Brunette and Blonde

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Dear Houseguests;

Every day we watch you walk sit around on your lazy @sses, listening to you complain about how much you hate it in the Big Brother house. You lounge, you b*tch, you swim, you b*tch, you eat, you b*tch, then you sleep, and you b*tch somemore. To be quite frank, we're sick of you! You may b*tch in our direction, but do you ever hear us b*tch back? (okay, so Karen did but she's no longer here...that's besides the point). Anyhow, we're stuck in this house too, only unlike you, we don't get paid to be here.

Quit your b*tching,

The Walls

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Guest StarBaby

Dear Nakomis,

It is NOT OKAY to match your hair colors and eye shadow to me. Get your own look, girlfriend, and stop copying mine.

Vertically yours,

The flame wall

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Dear Houseguests,

You are nothing but a bunch of prima donnas.

Sincerely Yours,

The National Psychological Association for Psychoanalysis, as funded by the BB Producers Deepest Desires To Speak Their Minds

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