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sophb

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Everything posted by sophb

  1. Genderqueer is a sort of umbrella term for folks who don't necessarily fit the gender binary. For me personally, it means that I see myself as combination of masculine and feminine, but there are lots of other forms of genderqueerness. Some people still find the word "queer" to be offensive, although many of us have worked to reclaim it, so some other people might choose to use other words such as gender fluid, nonbinary, gender bending, or more specific words that match their identities such as agender, androgynous, bigender, pangender, etc. I just use "genderqueer" for myself. As far as the word "tranny" goes - I do understand that many in the gay community use the word, but unless they are trans themselves - they are using the word appropriatively and most trans people will tell you that it's an insulting word. It's a word used often alongside violence against trans people and violence rates against trans people are very high. It's similar to using the "n-word" for black people or the "f-word" for gay men in that way, which is why it can be a very triggering and hurtful word to use for trans folk. Some trans people might reclaim the word for themselves, so you might hear them using it amongst themselves and other trans friends - but if you aren't trans yourself - it's still not really cool for you to use the word. And I'm not trying to restrict people's free speech - I'm not part of a government agency so that would literally be impossible for me to do anyway if you know what free speech is. I'm literally only trying to help people who care but may not know otherwise to be decent human beings towards trans people. I know this is a new issue for a lot of people and most people don't actually wish to be offensive. All I'm trying to do is to help folks right off the bat know the things that can be hurtful so they'll know not to do them. If you want to continue to say and do transphobic things - that's up to you and whatever the rules of this site might be.
  2. This guy seems fun. He also stood up against bullying in the WWE and is a huge fan of BB. He hosted an episode of BB AfterBuzz for season 15 and called out a lot of the problematic behavior going on there. I hope he's able to stand up against any bigotry that might come out this season.
  3. Super excited about her. Big time pro poker player, studied game theory at Duke, seems to know BB well. We've got a master strategist folks!!
  4. I just wanna make sure ppl are starting this off on the right foot here. I am not trans myself, but I am genderqueer and always try to ally with and stand in solidarity with my trans community (i.e. I can help with some 101 stuff here, but always take the word of a trans identified person over anyone else's - even mine. I might mess stuff up on occasion.) Anyway, here's some stuff for all of you who may be new to learning about this stuff to know: Audrey is a trans woman. That's how you say it - with the space between the two words. Saying "a transgender", "transgendered", or "tranny" is not cool. Implying that she is somehow not a real woman is not cool. Always always refer to her with female pronouns - she/her/hers. Never use what's called her "deadname" (the male name she was assigned at birth). Speculation about what she has or has not done to her body in the process of her transition is not appropriate. Every trans person is different, but generally it's rude to say things like "she used to be male". For most trans people, they have always been the gender they are - they just weren't able to present that way in the past. So unless she says otherwise, it's good to assume she has always been a woman - even when she was presenting as male to the world. You don't have to like her personally - she seems prepared to play a strategic game and even be seen as a villain - but don't make the things you might happen to dislike about her be about her transness. Don't purposefully misgender her or use transphobic slurs when talking about the things you dislike about her or her gameplay. It seems from CBS press that she is planning on telling the houseguests that she is trans right off the bat - but just so you know, it's never anyone's business if someone is trans or not. If she decided never to tell anyone, that would be within her rights. Never ever out someone as trans! It's always up to each individual to decide for themselves when to, how to, if to, and to whom to disclose. What TMZ did was not cool. She should have been able to tell the audience/public herself in her own way once on the show. Feel free to hit me up with any (respectful) questions you might have in private. I'm willing to help educate on this with anyone who is willing to learn. Thanks!
  5. Yes and then James Rhine playing the middle kept things hopping.
  6. I agree, the house vote everyone going along with everyone every week thing is old. I miss having a season like season 6 where there are two clear sides and a couple of floaters/trouble makers who keep it interesting.
  7. Actually, the charity he co-founded that helps kids affected by AIDS and poverty in South Africa via teaching them confidence through performing arts - is NOT the charity he is talking about. He is talking about a charity he has helped in the past that builds schools in some of the poorer countries of Africa called BuildON. BuildON works both in the US and around the world. Here are the links with info on his participation in each charity: BuildON: https://act.buildon.org/events/frankie-grande-school/e33062 Broadway in South Africa: http://creativespotlights.com/music/interview-with-frankie-grande-with-jacob-kupin-transcribed-by-timothy-carroll/ It's the BuildON charity he's talked about on the feeds and that he's planning to donate money to from the show.
  8. Zach for sure. If it was clear he was gonna win first or second place, I might vote for Frankie or Nicole tho.
  9. 1. Nicole will speak some truths in her eviction speech that everyone but Donny will ignore. 2. Christine. 3. Nicole.
  10. Talking about game and even personality is one thing, but it really really bugs me ppl harp on HGs looks in a negative way. That has nothing to do with anything.
  11. ooooo Marty! I hadn't seen that one yet. Now I'm crying.
  12. Christine has been saying the thing about Hayden and Vic kissing for awhile now so I do believe it came from her. She has a whole story about it how she was in the room at the time and heard it happening, etc. The guys might have encouraged her to spread it and to tell Nicole, etc. - but it came from her originally.
  13. I think Cody means the F2 with Derrick but not so sure Derrick does...
  14. The Derrick/Frankie convo last night was amazing! Usually we only have one really good talker/manipulator in the house, but this season we got two and they are in this position right now of knowing they can't be facing one another in the end but still need to work together for now. So they sat and talked around one another in circles trying to both get the info they needed from the other while only conveying the info they wanted to convey and they both played each other SO well. They play a similar game but with different styles and They both know it and so tread carefully with one another but eventually it's all going to come to a head and they'll have to face off and I can't Wait!! It's so exciting. TBH, as much fun as the competitions and things are - it's this social game strategy stuff that keeps me watching year after year. And these two are just killing it, imo.
  15. I'm surprised to see so much negativity about Zach here as he seems to have a huge fanbase everywhere else. I personally love the guy and think he is hilarious - super fun to watch on the feeds, even more fun to watch on the show game-wise because of his "Zach Attack"'s and his relationship with Frankie just fascinates me. I don't see Zach as a villain type so much as a chaotic neutral trickster type - which is my fave. He isn't out to hurt people but he likes to stir things up and if people get hurt in the process, he is okay with that. OTOH, his version of hurting ppl is calling them a dingus, and he's always very careful not to use hateful or discriminatory language. I feel like underneath it all he's really a nice guy who just thinks it's fun to stir stuff up in a game on television. And that makes him super fun to watch! I'm still crossing my fingers that he won't get evicted this week, and that if he does, there will be a revive a hamster somehow to bring him back. Because both the feeds and the show itself will be less interesting with him gone - not because everyone else is boring, but because he is just that much More fascinating to watch.
  16. I just want to clarify that I am not calling Caleb a rapist or a murderer and I would not do that. What I am saying is that his obsessive feelings for Amber and the ways that he is twisting things around are the same types of things that people who end up being stalkers and rapists do. They are, as someone else said, red flags, things women are trained to watch out for in dangerous men who can become violent. I am not saying he would ever take it to that level. I don't know him and can't say that. But I also will always speak up when men talk and act in ways that are scary to me because that DOES play into our culture of victim blaming and tolerance for violence against women. Plenty of people contribute to that culture without ever being violent themselves. People who make jokes about rape or domestic violence, people who don't speak up when a male friend says creepy things about a woman, people who stand up for a man who has been accused of rape, etc. These people are not violent themselves, but they are contributing to a culture of violence all the same. And that is all that I am saying. I am saying that Caleb's obsession and twisting of words and making things up in head, etc - things that are evident to see on the feeds - are scary to me, and the fact that the houseguests are encouraging him is scary to me, and people watching the feeds who defend him are scary to me. And I get that Misha is a friend of his, and of course you are going to want to defend your friend and not want to see bad things said about him. I can 100% understand that - which is why I suggested bowing out of the forums on the topic of Caleb - just as Misha herself counseled Caleb's dad to avoid those things. I am not trying to bully Misha off the board - she is much more of a regular contributor here than I am! I just wonder about the wisdom of allowing the conversations about him to stress her out all summer.
  17. Misha - I understand it must be difficult to be a friend of someone who is on the show, but I'm almost wondering if you ought to take your own advice to Caleb's dad and just stop reading the stuff that's said about him and trying to defend him? Because all it's doing is fanning the flames, imo On the one hand, I agree that the other houseguests should not be encouraging him, but that's part of the game. He's a very powerful player and they don't want to be on his bad side so early in the game. Look at what happened when Devin finally told Caleb that Amber wasn't into him - now Devin is one of Caleb's targets! But most of this is on Caleb and you saying that he's gun shy or whatever really doesn't change the fact that the things that he's been saying and doing are the kinds of things that often lead to stalking, rape, and murder. Now, I'm not saying that Caleb is going to end up doing those things himself - but it's very scary, very creepy, very entitled behavior. It shouldn't be defended. Here is why it's creepy and not just on par with a normal crush: he's decided that if she looks at him it's because she likes him, but if she doesn't look at him or she looks at another guy then it's because she is trying not to show that she likes him. There is literally no way for her to win in this scenario - either way he is deciding for himself how she feels. He has also decided that when she leaves the room when he enters it's because she doesn't want to show her feelings for him. He has decided that when she says she only wants to be friends she is lying to him. He had decided all kinds of things about her and tells this to everyone and meanwhile doesn't bother to check in with her about it. He finally DOES talk to her - but he even phrases it himself as a "speech." A speech is not a conversation. A non-creepy way to tell someone you like them is to 1) not corner them in a room alone, 2) not spew all of your feelings about them including how you "know" what their feelings for you are already, 3) take a hint when they laugh awkwardly and say things like "well thanks for the kinds words" and "I'm just trying to be friends with everyone." Also don't make up in your head that she hugged you at the end when she didn't touch you at all and has been very clear about not touching you even though this cast is very touchy feely. Did she flirt with him before the feeds went live? We don't know. What we DO know is that Caleb has made a lot of stuff up in his head about what her actions around him have meant and has straight up made things up that happened between them. And if even if she HAD flirted with him?? This is a game. Lots of people flirt for game-related reasons or for fun in this house and that is not used against them the way Amber's supposed flirting has been this year. Caleb has now turned people against Amber simply because she does not return his feelings for her. She has stated to the other houseguests that she is uncomfortable with his attentions, that she doesn't want to be mean but she isn't interested in him, etc. But she has become a target for supposedly leading Caleb on and using him? How is she doing that exactly? She barely even talks to him and refuses to be alone in a room with him for crying out loud! Her family has tweeted that they are worried about her being in the house with him! That's not for nothing. As far as her "talking shit about him" - are you serious? All she has said is that she isn't interested in him and he is not her type because he's too into himself. That is IT. That is not shit talking. If anything - Caleb is the one shit talking about her and it's not fair. He seems to just expect that she should be attracted to him because he is attracted to her and is now MAD because she isn't. You can claim all you want that there is nothing problematic with this, but it fits a pattern of male privilege and entitlement that makes women in our culture feel unsafe every day. We're told not to outright reject a guy because he could become violent. We're told not to lead a guy on because that would be wrong. We're told not to be tease, but not to be a prude. If a guy is nice to us, we have to be receptive to it. Meanwhile, if we are stalked or raped it's probably our own faults for flirting or dressing a certain way or looking at someone a certain way, etc. Does this sound familiar to you?? Again, I am not saying Caleb would ever become violent. But his words and behaviors are in line with those who do and that is scary enough, that is problem enough, and it's not cool to blame Amber for Caleb's delusional behaviors. Let's please not feed into rape culture and victim blaming here okay? Blame the other houseguests for encouraging him - sure. But blame him the most. Because he is responsible for his own words and actions.
  18. Okay, but here is my thing about that. Women are socialized, generally, not to outright reject guys. It can be really scary to tell a big outspoken guy in a position of power no. It feels awkward and uncomfortable, yea, but it is also scary. Telling a guy no outright can and often does lead to violence and stalking behaviors and so women try and find softer ways to say no... they say things like Amber did such as "well, thank you" and "I'm just trying to be friends with everyone" etc. She did everything BUT tell him no and that's called a "soft no" and something that dudes need to become more aware of. Caleb basically sat her down and gave her a speech about HIS feelings and HIS desires and didn't seem to care what she thought or felt at all. That's creepy as hell and she has every reason not to come right out and give him a firm hard no. When the person you are professing your feelings to doesn't reply in kind, laughs nervously, says this is news to them, says they just want to be friends, etc. - that means NO. It just does. Time to back off. I just wish the other HGs would start to talk him down instead of continuing to encourage him because he needs to let this go. It makes me really worried for Amber to be honest.
  19. Don't forget Danielle and Sean bb14 for the ghost possession thing. heh
  20. I am fascinating with his relationship with Frankie - sharing the bed, sharing the power basically even though he doesn't have to, getting dressed and groomed together, etc. It doesn't necessarily take away from him having used the f-word for gay people in the past and his being friendly with poc doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't hold racist viewpoints - plenty of people who have friends who are black still have racist ideas and people who are friends with gay people can still have prejudices against gay people. It happens all the time. Now, for all we know those comments he made online are not indicative how he feels today and his hanging out with Devin and Frankie is opening his mind up more and more. We don't know, really. We know what he said online and we know how he behaves in the house and we'll see how he behaves once he's out of the house and that's all we can do. That said - what's most concerning to me about him right now is his obsession with Amber. He talks about her constantly and has convinced himself that she likes him back even though she has said she isn't interested in him and you can tell she doesn't like to be in a room alone with him for too long. IDK - it just seems creepy to me. I wish instead of encouraging him, the other HGs would talk him down a little.
  21. Joey and Hayden streaked - didn't see or hear anything about Christine, tho.
  22. I'm in agreement with mynewpseud1 here. Paul, as others have said, it's probably best for you to stay away from BB sites because people ARE going to rip your son to shreds both on things like game play, on every little thing he does from not liking a shirt he wore to how he treated a fellow HG, and absolutely certainly on any bigoted remarks he's made outside and inside of the house. If what you want in being in these online forums is to defend and justify your son - then you should slowly back out right now. Because people will fight. And I myself am likely to be one of them. I'm trying to be kind here, but I will not censor myself just because his father is hanging around and loves his son. Caleb called our president a "Muslim monkey" - how is that taken out of context? That is so racist I can't even begin to pick it apart. Maybe he has black friends - lots of people with racist viewpoints do - but what he said, about this country's president - was super incredibly wrong and it does affect my opinion of him. And if he says other offensive bigoted things in the house - I *will* talk about it and not in as polite of terms as I am right now. I'd encourage you, Paul, to read the article that the girlfriend of one of last year's controversial houseguests wrote up addressing friends and and loved ones and how to deal with them being on the show here at this link: http://www.hamsterwatch.com/bb16/preseason.shtml She encourages people to stay away from social media sites and fan sites. She also encourages you not to admit your connection to the houseguest if you do go on those sites. There's a lot of good tips there, like leaning on your contact person in production and picking someone in your life that you can vent to about stuff that comes up, etc. But do think about the tips about staying away from social media and fan sites because people are going to get vicious. And I don't even mean people like me who will get angry about bigoted remarks. There are some really obsessed fans who will get angry over game stuff like who he makes alliances with and who he puts up on the block. Family members have gotten death threats before. It's horrible and it shouldn't happen, but it does. So just do what you have to do to stay safe. And if that means not trying to defend everything your son does in the house - then you might need to just stay off the boards and twitter and etc. because it seems like you're going to have the urge to jump in and do that a lot and I feel like that will only make things worse. Just some advice from a long-time fan of the show, and a member of many BB fan communities.
  23. I feel like he's going to be very underrated and fly under the radar for awhile and people won't notice him much, but all the while he'll be making friends and learning things about people. I think he could go far. And he seems like a decent dude. Someone I might really be able to root for. I feel like cops tend to either be kind of a bully type or a kind helper type and he seems like the former. We'll see once he's in the house...

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