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Letters from inanimate objects to the Houseguests


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since we're going there...I have the day off, can you tell...lol

Dear Marcey,

Why do I always have to be the only one on top all day every day?

Signed,

Your warn out Robe :(

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Dear Booger,

We have so much in common, you and I.

We're both whipped.

We usually lay it on too thick.

We're both void of substance.

Our IQ's are the same.

But in a few weeks, I'll still be here.

Yours in spirit,

Whipped Cream

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Dear Janelle:

We miss you turning us on so often.

Signed: The lightbulbs in the refrigerator and freezer

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Dear Slop:

Go away and leave our Janie alone...we miss her.

Signed The lightbulbs in the refrigerator and freezer

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Dr. Will,

You scared the crap out of me the other night when you jumped in me and pulled the lid closed to see if it would work for a jack shack... Please don't give Howie any ideas...

Thank you,

The hot tub

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Hey Tea Kettle: You Black shrieking creep...you sold me out to the stairs I just know it. How else would the stairs have known I was thinking about putting the sofa up this week. You will not be a floater much longer.

Ali's Stinky Pot

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Diane,

Please don't ever put something in me and let Boogie lick it out again... I think the next time I will have to grow arms and choke you...

Thank you,

Your navel

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Dear Will and Kaysar,

Please keep us out of the same room. We don't fit.

Love,

Your heads

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Dear Houseguests,

We don't miss you guys at all, and there is so much more to look at than all of your ugly faces,

We're never coming back....

Not missing BB House,

FOTH

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