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Califcyclone

Letters From Inanimate Objects to BB13 Houseguests

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Dear Houseguests,

I am designed to be used for trash, not humans.

I would much rather be filled with trash then what you have planned for me.

Signed the trashbags.

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Guest Corky812

Dear Porsche:

Please stop hiding me. If you are voted out I will spoil and go to waste!

Sincerely,

FoTH (Food of The House)

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Dear Cowlia,

PLEASE, PLEASE, don't eat my occupants.

The HOH fish tank.

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To: Rachel

From: The Live Feed Cameras

Re: Submissions to Other Reality Shows

Per your request we edited and submitted your live video blog submission to Bridezillas and we have already heard back that the producers think you are just too awful to have on that show.

Now, regarding your request for submission to Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew would you please review and approve the following:

Quote:

"Hi My name is Rachel and I have been on not 1 but 2 seasons of Big Brother.

After many heated discussions with my betrothed 'Boukie' I find that I suffer from Alcoholism, co-dependancy, plastic surgery/botox addictions, gambling/VEGAS separation anxiety, passive-agressive disorder, body image issues, road rage, anger management, sexism, beastiality, extreme coupouning and un-natural laugh dis-order.

I realize you might have Charilie Sheen and Bristol Palin on deck for next season but I really do think you will find that you could possibly line up both Brendon and I as a package deal. We are the perfect duo for your show - we call ourselves Double Trouble

Hugs and Fake Annoying Laughter

Rachel."

Dear Member

Your letter to Dr Phil:

My name is (insert real name here). I am a reality tv fanatic and over zealous Rachel hater. Please help me with my compulsive need to insult and berate people on the television who I believe can REALLY hear me. If you can help me with this disorder, maybe I can actually GET A LIFE.

Yours Truly

OCDW

Kahlia,

Quit running upstairs to suck up to Danielle all the

Time, your wearing out my tread.

signed,

the stairs.

I'm certain that after viewing and reading of the live feeds regarding Kalia, she is doing more than just "sucking-up" to Daniele. There seems to be a lot of "sniffing" as though the two bitches are in heat.

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Dear Kalia,

I know that next week when Rachel re-enters the game and wins HOH you will want to eat me, but PLEASE be considerate and save some of me for Daniele and Porsche.

Sincerely,

Humble Pie

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Dear Kalia,

I know that next week when Rachel re-enters the game and wins HOH you will want to eat me, but PLEASE be considerate and save some of me for Daniele and Porsche.

Sincerely,

Humble Pie

OK that was a good one!

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Dear Kahlia,

you seem to have no trouble remembering

to eat, please remember we would like to be fed also.

the HOH fish.

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ptttff pttfff oh why me lord, I knew I should have been a weedwacker

sincerely,

Kalia's razor

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Dear Kalia,

Please close your legs, your breath smells.

Sincerely,

The Association of Big Brother Couches

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Dear Rachel,

Ewww, do you really have to crawl all up me and cry your whiny tears, and show fake puppy eyes at Brendon when he comes to your "rescue"? Gross, please find somewhere else to cry, your tears are not welcome here.

Thank you for staying away!

The BY Bushes

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Dear Shelly

You suck more than I do!!!!

Jealously,

The Vacuum Cleaner

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Hey Shelly...I found your mind.

It rolled right under me when you lost it on your way to having a smoke.

Sincerely,

Rachel's Crying Bush

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Dani,

You aren't tricking anyone when you slink into the kitchen at odd hours of the morning to sneak food outta me.

Didn't fool people last go around and you aren't doing it this time. Please leave what you should not be eating as a "have not" in me.

Thanks

BB Fridge

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Dear Kalia,

For the love of GOD are you going to pull on me any harder. Each day we go through this and each day its harder and harder and the pulling ...oh God the pulling. I think one day I am just going to explode then where will you be? It's just not fair.

Thanks

Your Jeans!

Dear Jeans,

I am sorry I keep hanging on you all the time but, I am out of places to go so I just hang and hang...

THanks

Kalia's stomach

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Dear Rachel,

If you do what I think you are about to do and team up to save the person who TWICE evicted your Boukie, I'm going come to life and take your Boukie away from you...far away...because you'd be right... you don't deserve him.

With Contempt,

Mr. Quackers

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Dear Rachel,

If you do what I think you are about to do and team up to save the person who TWICE evicted your Boukie, I'm going come to life and take your Boukie away from you...far away...because you'd be right... you don't deserve him.

With Contempt,

Mr. Quackers

:smilielol:

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Hey Porches,

You know that old saying about putting 10lbs of ---- into a 5lb bag?

It's not working out too well for us.

Sadly,

Your Pants

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Dear Kahlia,

Please quit sleeping in me all the time,

my warrantee doesn't cover this much usage.

The bed.

Dear Porsche,

Better enjoy the camera time you get from me now

because you won't be getting much outside the house.

BB Cameras

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Dear Adam,

You're too coarse, tangled, and it's smells like bacon. We don't know how much longer we'll last.

sincerely,

your back hair razor.

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During this lull in the feeds #mortystv on twitter has been playing around. One of the things we are doing is Letters From Inanimate Objects. Going to put some of them here for all to enjoy.....

On Twitter...

JBwkgn: Dear Kalia, I feel we need to spend more time apart, I feel smothered. Best Regards, Your Pillow

ZuZuMamou: Dear Occupied Sign, I've stared longingly at u hanging on the WC door 4 years. Please join me and occupy my life! - The WC Camera

JohnFabio34: Dear Jordan why'd u give me to shelly I'm hating my new home I think I'm getting cancer from all the smoke.-your fav t shirt

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Dear Kalia,

Don't let me hit you in the ass on the way out.

Get out,

BB Exit Door.

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