oldguy Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I've been pondering new occupations for the houseguests . . . other than the ones they now hold. Ollie . . . . . . . Anger Management Therapist Jerry . . . . . . .Motivational Speaker Libra . . . . . . .Lecturer on Good Parenting Dan . . . . . . . Environmental Advisor to Al Gore Renny . . . . . .Fraternity Housemother Memphis . . . .Personal Fitness Trainer Keesha . . . . .Snack Saleswoman Michelle . . . . .Mud Wrestler April . . . . . . .Stripper Most of you posters are imaginative, creative and witty. I'll bet you can come up with better ones! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeCiMom Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Brian . . . . . . .Talk Show Host (ie. Leno, Letterman) Angie. . . . . . .Mime Steven . . . . . Gay Rodeo Cowboy (oh, wait he's already one ) Jessie. . . . . . Tom Cruise Ollie . . . . . . . Exotic Bird Sanctuary Administrator Jerry . . . . . . .RETIRED Libra . . . . . . .Contestant on "The Apprentice" Dan . . . . . . . Environmental Advisory to Al Gore (this one's too good to change) Renny . . . . . .Mascot at Dan's Football games Memphis . . . .Ethics Professor at Harvard Keesha . . . . .Dentist Michelle . . . . .WWF Smackdown Champion April . . . . . . .Porn Actress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldguy Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 Ceci - Those are great! Keesha - DENTIST. Why didn't I think of that?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LenRay Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Great Idea, Old Guy (as per usual!) I see our HGs launching show biz, film careers: April and Ollie set to star in love story of Barack Obama's parents..... Angie and Memphis play "Jerry and his $20 whore in Korea." Screenplay by Keesha, Makeup/hairdressing Renny, Backshaving by Dan, Produced and Directed for Lifetime Movie Channel by Jerry with his $500,000 winnings. Imagine Jerry harrassing Memphis during filming..."Cut...cut..Act like a Man, Memphis, act like a Marine!" Jerry at your local carnival as "Sabu" the geek who bites the heads off live chickens.... Michelle works as Barker who pulls in the rubes..."Step right up, ladies and gentleman, see the strongest man on Earth bite the head of a chicken right before your very eyes..." Brian, Steven and Dan co star in Big Screen remake of "Queer as Folk"... Libra replaces the "warm up" singer on the Jay Leno Show you only hear ending a song when show returns from commercial too soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Califcyclone Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Brian . . . . . . .Drafted as an Amazing Race Contestant but only watches the season with Rob and Amber gets Philminated quicker than Big Brother Allision. Angie. . . . . . .The New Marlboro Man Steven . . . . . Angie's Back-up for Marlboro Man Jessie. . . . . . Professional Sign Flipper on Freeway offramps - signs on for a reality show around annual Las Vegas sign flipping convention. Ollie . . . . . . . Next Mentos Ad Model and smile model for Zoom Teeth Brightening Jerry . . . . . . .Political Lobbyist - cause he can sway votes. Libra . . . . . . .NY Times Best Selling Novelist replacing Dr. Spock and Dr. Sears as standard for parenting tips. Dan . . . . . . . Catholic High School Coach Renny . . . . . .Float Queen, Grand Marshall or Overseeing Pubah for the Next Mardi Gras parade Memphis . . . .Mixology Critic on the Food Network Keesha . . . . Hooter's Head Hostess or she will get an more upscale Hostess Job at where Janelle works Michelle . . . . .Hot Dog Sales at Boston Ball Games April . . . . . . .Wife and Mother - cowrites book with Libra on how to properly raise bi-racially mixed children in modern day America. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
straykat Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Ollie-- Offical hat stretcher at local LIDS store Jerry--- Pool boy Libra--- Writes book "How to Spend 15 Quality Minutes With Your Children Each Month" Dan--- Orkan man Renny--- Hilary Clinton's fashion advisor Memphis--- Outreach phone operator Keesha--- Cartoon voice overs Michelle--- Wrestles gators at roadside show April--- Host of the all new "Tales From The Crypt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Brian . . . . . . .Marries Angie and they don't invite Keesha to the wedding. Angie. . . . . . .Marries Brian and they go on Amazing Race together Steven . . . . . Donates sperm to Keesha and they have a child together. Jessie. . . . . . Runs for Governor of California Ollie . . . . . . . Lollipop tester in a factory Jerry . . . . . . .Meeter Greeter at Walmart Libra . . . . . . . Writes a book titled. How to raise children without being there Dan . . . . . . . Dan becomes political adviser to President McCain. Renny. . . . . . .Becomes a nanny to the baby Keesha has through artificial insemination with Steven Memphis . . . . Goes into business with Mike Boogie as a partner running the restaurants. Keesha . . . . . Has a baby with Steven through artificial insemination. Michelle . . . . . Found living homless on the streets and begging for food. April . . . . . . . Has quadruplets with Ollie and 2 are white and 2 are black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slimcruz Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Brian . . . . . . .Concierge in a Ritz-Carlton Angie. . . . . . .Wife of a Senator - living in D.C. Steven . . . . . Talent coordinator for Miss America contestants from Texas Jessie. . . . . . Ballet Dancer with the Fort Worth Ballet Ollie . . . . . . . Circuit City's Employee of the Month Jerry . . . . . . .Wal Mart greeter Libra . . . . . . .Mayor of a major eastern seaboard city Dan . . . . . . . Democrat Porn Star with homes in L.A. and Aspen Renny . . . . . .Memphis' well-paid Assistant Memphis . . . .Owner of the largest strip club chain in the world Keesha . . . . .Daycare employee and the mother of five Michelle . . . ..Works on a deepwater fishing boat out of a small town in Maine April . . . . .....A Las Vegas Blackjack dealer married to a used-car salesman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shipp Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Brian - New Calvin Klein underwear model Angie - Promotes Botox, without ever having any Steven - Brian's dresser at Calvin Klein Jessie - Buys Jack LaLanne franchise Ollie - Professional birdwatcher Jerry - No job due to pool injury - in a body cast Libra - Divorces and marries Obama, becomes 1st lady Dan - Becomes a priest Renny - Stars in Grey Gardens as Little Edie Memphis - Limo driver Keesha - Voice and elocution teacher Michelle - In Dr. Drew's recovery program April - Married O.J. Simpson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uvp Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Brian . . . . . . .one week artist Angie. . . . . . .tobacco lobbyist Steven . . . . . cry me a river scout Jessie. . . . . . muscle inspector Ollie . . . . . . . Cowardly Lion Jerry . . . . . . .awolployee Libra . . . . . . .joe clark principal Dan . . . . . . . judas Renny . . . . . .Nurse Mildred Ratched Memphis . . . .bartender Keesha . . . . .tooth fairy Michelle . . . ..lunatrist April . . . . .....hoestress jmho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LenRay Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Shipp...Renny as Little Edie in Grey Gardens...priceless!!! Sheila (BB9) could play Big Edie. Hope Renny gets out those flaming batons out tonight and chases Jerry into the (emptied) pool if he suggests another Luao!!!! Also Steven could work as Fluffer in Dan's new Porn Flicks!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shipp Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Len - lol lol lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonoerin Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Brian ...... Working for a Temp agency Angie ...... Gains 30lbs and becomes Keesha's new BFF Steven .... Becomes a Packer at "The Original Frankenmuth Fudge Kitchen" Jessie ...... Editor at Webster's Dictionary Ollie ........ Becomes a politician due to the realization that his inability to keep promises makes him perfectly suited to the job Jerry ....... Becomes the next Clara Peller. He signs a lucrative contract for an advertising campaign for Budweiser using the new catch-phrase "Where's The Beer?" Libra ....... New spokesperson for Jenny Craig Dan ........ Sex toy for Marty Renny ..... Writes a best-seller entitled "Bi-Polar - Prepared For Any Occasion". Currently incarcerated. During book promotion tour, she assaulted Dr. Phil while screaming "F-ing Old Bastard"! Memphis .. Refrigerator Keesha .... Finally makes it big in the movies. She becomes the top sales person at the Snack Bar at the local cineplex Michelle ... She's Jessie's assistant at Webster's Dictionary. She in charge of the little pronunciation thingies April ........ Still a HO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonoerin Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 I am SO glad you took that in the spirit it was intended Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Love the Dan one but the Renny one was my favorite. Good job everyone I love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LenRay Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Really good Sono! I'm just disappointed Renny didn't actually kill Dr. Phil. I'm sure a jury of her peers would not only find her not guilty but give her a standing ovation as she exited the court room!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonoerin Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 LOL @LenRay My sentiments exactly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Califcyclone Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 My Husband has no idea why I am sitting at my computer laughing hysterically at Big Brother stuff. Creative threads like this is why I love this site...thanks Old Guy for starting this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LenRay Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Let me add, everyone of you guys made this topic a classic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SugarB Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Libra - vice presidential running mate Renny - new star of the cooking network Keesha - spokeswoman for tater chip manufacturer Memphis - pimp (it's the hat) Jerry - activities director at the Senior Center (his favorite activity, the booger olympics) Dan - actor, playing the role of Judas on Broadway April - $10 ho Ollie - hmmm, I got nothin' - he'll still be a worthless piece of crap Steven - plays the lead role in Heath Ledger's life story Jesse - selling shrunken heads online The rest of em' have been gone too long for me to care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
straykat Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Great thread. Thanks oldguy for starting it. Lots of laughs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shipp Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Sono - Jerry, "Where's the Beer" I'm laughing too hard here (and at all your picks). The rest of you of course, all most excellent, and great fun. So many favorites, too many to list. I applaud this creative group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LenRay Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Shipp, was "Where's the Beef" lady Clara Jerry's first wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odinsraven98 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Hooray for all the well thought post!!! I'm surprised that there hasn't been more comments if just to compliment each one of you for taking the time with describing each HG so accurately!! I cannot tell who had the best occupation after the finale, but I did like LinRay's take on movie careers with April and Ollie leading the pack as parents of Barak Obama. Then Shipp saying that April was married to OJ, ROTFL... Keep up the good work...These description's should be posted and saved in the archives. Four thumbs up!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.