Marty Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 So Xal are you saying we are all sadistic and evil? Not sure what your point is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuchsLove Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 i agree with fizzle and Marty. Jen can't be too "afraid" of Dick if she still is able to fall asleep in the same room as him. They are both playing the game...and both making the choice to engage in what is ultimately childish behavior. The "game" is over between the two of them as soon as one stops playing. I don't see either one doing that any time soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xal Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 my whole arguement has been that jen does things that contridict being a victim. period. a true victim would avoid her abuser, she would not sleep in the same room, she would not destroy his property, she would not stand and stare at him waiting for him to begin another rant.... (again... hello.. anyone ever think these two are in cahoots?) What? WHAT? Do you have any idea how many women I have counciled that have stayed in abusive relationships? Do you have any idea how many women I have met who have slept in the same bed and had relations with the man who has tormented her, often for as long as years? Do you have any idea how many mutually abusive relationships I have seen where every week is like a one up on who can hurt the other more, yet they continue to stay together? You think you're angry? You just described EXACTLY what happens in many TEXTBOOK abusive relationships. Hey Marty, for once you're right. I AM angry. Don't speak on something as serious as abusive relationships, Fizzle, if you're going to say something so off base. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlelulu Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Blackcat, maybe some of us simply do not think it's OK for ANYONE to be treated like that, mother, daughter...or even a complete stranger somewhere in Latvia we will never meet or even see on TV. For some of us, the act of saying those words is the thing that is wrong, not who it is being said to or who is saying it. You are entitled to feel that way, but if you feel so strongly that Jen is some type of victim and CBS is out of line, why do you continue to watch? Do you plan on watching tonight? You are encouraging the very behavior you want CBS to condemn. What Jen is doing is blatant rule breaking. What ED did was live up to his name. I hate him, but I know my watching helps keep him there. He is not the first jerk to be in the BB house and most likely not the last. After all it's TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xal Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 So Xal are you saying we are all sadistic and evil? Not sure what your point is. My point is saying it's "just TV" is not acceptable because what we watch on television as a nation DOES impact who we are in small ways. No I'm not saying we're evil but some of our viewing pleasures are somewhat sadistic. People watched Fear Factor because they enjoyed seeing other people suffer for a few minutes every week. What other reason would you want to watch someone struggle to keep from vomiting while eating blended dead rats? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzle Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 uhh Xal? Dick and Jen are not in a "relationship" its totally different than what you are talking about when you talk of an abusive relationship where there abused partner still sleeps in the same bed. HERE... we are talking about strangers that have been put into a house... its a lot different than a couple that live together in a relationship. stop talking to us like we are idiots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xal Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 You are entitled to feel that way, but if you feel so strongly that Jen is some type of victim and CBS is out of line, why do you continue to watch? Do you plan on watching tonight? You are encouraging the very behavior you want CBS to condemn. What Jen is doing is blatant rule breaking. What ED did was live up to his name. I hate him, but I know my watching helps keep him there. He is not the first jerk to be in the BB house and most likely not the last. After all it's TV. I am watching for one reason, and it's not a good one but it's mine and I'm being honest about it. I want to see Dick get his. It's all about revenge for me. I want to see him be voted out of the show. After that I'm done watching. I have written numerous letters to my local CBS affiliate as well as directly to CBS about my displeasure with their allowing Dick to do what he has this year. I Tivo BB so it doesn't count on Nielsen and I don't watch the commercials so I'm not putting money in the producer's pockets. I just want to see Dick get his. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yath Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Xal, I am at least as much an "expert" on abuse issues as you are. While you are right that many victims stay with their abusers for many complicated reasons, the reality (as I know it) is this: Abuse is a matter of perception. I have seen women who have had what some would consider very mild abuse, but they feel tormented. And the opposite.....So, if someone perceives abuse in a potentially abusive relationship, they've been abused. If someone (like Jen) doesn't feel abused, then she's not. It's not up to us to determine whether or not Jen has been abused; it's up to Jen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Hey Marty, for once you're right. I AM angry. Don't speak on something as serious as abusive relationships, Fizzle, if you're going to say something so off base. Why do you get so angry when people do not agree with you? We all have a right to our opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuchsLove Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 I also think that anyone comparing Jen to a battered woman is completely off-base. Jen can pack up her crap and walk out that door ANY TIME SHE WANTS. Once she does, she never has to see ED again. How many women in abusive relationships can do that? Just pack a bag and go...without fear....without reprisals...without anything?!?! I know I couldn't. It took me over a year and giving up everything I had to get away from my ex. i WISH it was as easy as signing a paper and walking off of a show. Don't compare Jen's "plight" to the REALITY of thousands of women like myself. Dick might be an ass, but Jen is NOT a victim of abuse. She is a WILLING PARTICIPANT in a pissing match to see who can be more "evil." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rejuvenated Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Does that make Dick's words/behavior acceptable? Of course not. Jen accepts them, she allows them to be acceptable (eg the stare down to incite the rant). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yath Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Jen accepts them, she allows them to be acceptable Exactly, Rejuvenated. Let's let JEN make her own decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xal Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 uhh Xal? Dick and Jen are not in a "relationship" its totally different than what you are talking about when you talk of an abusive relationship where there abused partner still sleeps in the same bed. HERE... we are talking about strangers that have been put into a house... its a lot different than a couple that live together in a relationship. stop talking to us like we are idiots. It's not a sexual relationship or a romantic relationship but it most assuredly IS a relationship. In THIS specific case, Jen should NOT have to leave and get away from the abuser because CBS should have stepped in. Now granted if she felt her life threatened she should have left long ago but I don't believe she did. This wasn't about physical abuse, it was about mental abuse which can often have harsher long term effects than physical. Often mental abuse doesn't even show up at first and just festers in the subconscious until it eventually boils over and rushes out in a torrent of emotions. That may have been what happened when Jen finally snapped. Make no mistake about it I'm more upset with the producer's than Dick. If this were a country that cared more about the ramifications of something like this, like England, maybe something would have been done. Never forget that the BB in Europe was SLAMMED on the news because of bullying, very similar to what has happened over here. Yet because our culture in America is more accepting of this type of thing for some reason, it's not as big a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueZqueZ Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Thank you Xal...the right of opinion is exactly what I mean. I have the right to opinionate as I think I feel it. As you said, there are a lot of factions out there that I don't like their way of thinking or their opinions, but I listen out of respect, to their right of free speech, and go on about my business. I don't jump in and try to change their opinion or agrue about it if we disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynnmurr Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 my whole arguement has been that jen does things that contridict being a victim. period. a true victim would avoid her abuser, she would not sleep in the same room, she would not destroy his property, she would not stand and stare at him waiting for him to begin another rant.... (again... hello.. anyone ever think these two are in cahoots?) Excellent point Fizzle. I don't see her as a victim either. I've been so up and down on this issue, but I think Jen knows what she's doing. She only seems to complain to others about Dick when she's trying to turn them against Dick and even then, it seems to be an afterthought for her. If Jen felt at all threatened by Dick, physically or otherwise, she would express that in the DR. Believe me, CBS would not want that lawsuit on their hands. they would absolutely step in on her behalf and tell Dick to stop. Especially since his rants are all documented. I also want to comment on Marty's comments on Jen wanting camera time. I think that is exactly why she is there, not saying it is right or wrong, just is what it is. That is exactly why she is refusing sequestor. She even said she could make more modeling than being in sequestor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xal Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Why do you get so angry when people do not agree with you? We all have a right to our opinion. I'm not arguing her right to have an opinion, I'm arguing about the content of her opinion. If someone who has never taken an engineering class in their life says a bridge doesn't look sound, yet I am a graduated engineer and realize the bridge is perfectly sound, of course I'm going to say something to the effect of "you're wrong". I may have misunderstood what she was saying because it sounded as if she was talking about all abuse and not just what was going on in the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yath Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 This wasn't about physical abuse, it was about mental abuse. As I said in post #121...it isn't about any abuse. ONLY JEN can decide if she was abused. She has clearly decided she wasn't. of course I'm going to say something to the effect of "you're wrong". I hope none of us would use the words "right" or "wrong" to a fellow poster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyA Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 My tv viewing habits are no one's busness but my own. I've never seen Fear Factor, but I don't condem people that do watch that show. Free will is a wonderful thing and the remote in your hand has an off button. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjcs Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rejuvenated Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 What? WHAT? Do you have any idea how many women I have counciled that have stayed in abusive relationships? Do you have any idea how many women I have met who have slept in the same bed and had relations with the man who has tormented her, often for as long as years? Do you have any idea how many mutually abusive relationships I have seen where every week is like a one up on who can hurt the other more, yet they continue to stay together? You think you're angry? You just described EXACTLY what happens in many TEXTBOOK abusive relationships. Hey Marty, for once you're right.I AM angry. Xal, you have made your point abundantly clear. Perhaps a message board is not the most effective forum for you to make a stand on the issue. This isn't a forum for the resolution of issues, its a place where people come to discuss a TV show. Pounding your point into everyones head is NOT going to change anyones perception of whats happening in that house. Be angry if you want, be very angry. Find a way to effect some change if you like. But please, stop making everyone feel they have been tried, judged and set up for execution if they don't see things your way. If this were a country that cared more about the ramifications of something like this, like England, maybe something would have been done. This particular statement I find very disturbing, not because I agree with it or not; but because I would bet there are posters on this very thread that are or have been touched by abuse and quite frankly, that is a slap in the face. With all of your background, you seem to lack some sensitivity on the issue. If people come here to escape, why do they have to contend with having it thrown in their face that as you suggest, we don't care about the ramifications or whether or not anything is done. This is such a sensitive and personal issue for many people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xal Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 As I said in post #121...it isn't about any abuse. ONLY JEN can decide if she was abused. She has clearly decided she wasn't. Baloney. She has numerous times said she doesn't like it, especially of late. Jen knows she was abused, it just hadn't gotten to the point where she would walk out the door. She asked the producers a few times to step in and they didn't. Just because she hasn't ran out the door in tears doesn't mean it's not effecting her. Different people deal with abuse in different ways. There are plenty of people who just sit and take it. In middle school I was bullied mercilessly. I sat and took it. I never complained to anyone because I didn't want to make it worse. I was chased off the school bus, often tackled and held down while kids spit at me. I was called every name in the book and even punched in the face randomly of which I still have a minor chip in my bottom left incisor. I took all of this because I didn't want to make it worse. I didn't want to look like a taddler. Of course, when I got in high school and hit my growth spurt (I'm 6'6" now) no one messed with me, but I'll never forget those days in middle school where I felt tortured and often skipped school just so I didn't need to be tormented. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuchsLove Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 QUOTE Dick might be an ass, but Jen is NOT a victim of abuse. She is a WILLING PARTICIPANT in a pissing match to see who can be more "evil." lol yeah, breaking cigarettes and wearing skimpy bikinis..what an evil woman! Watch out Adolf! She's not a victim of abuse, she's a victim of gang mentality who are too afraid to have the attention focused on themselves by a 44 year old lunatic. Big Brother in and of itself is about "gang mentality." ED or no ED...it always has been. And yes, IMO destroying someone's property is "evil." It is not yours to mess with in any way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xal Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Xal, you have made your point abundantly clear. Perhaps a message board is not the most effective forum for you to make a stand on the issue. This isn't a forum for the resolution of issues, its a place where people come to discuss a TV show. Pounding your point into everyones head is NOT going to change anyones perception of whats happening in that house. Be angry if you want, be very angry. Find a way to effect some change if you like. But please, stop making everyone feel they have been tried, judged and set up for execution if they don't see things your way. Way to spread the hyperbole. P.S. - It goes both ways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boobaloo Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 This is better than the actual show!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyA Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 To the dolt that sent me a PM but didn't want a reply either post it here or hide I don't care. I thought I was entitled to my own opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.