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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

September 24, 2006: Listen to the Rain on the Roof

Looks like Marc Cherry is keeping his promise: He's been in the media everywhere proclaiming that the show's quality will be back in tip-top shape, like it was in the first season. He deserves a pat on the back for cowriting a (for the most part) first-rate script with Jeff Greenstein (Emmy-winning writer/executive producer of Will & Grace - Jeff wrote the pivotal '80s flashback episode where Will first came out to Grace). I thought it was a smart thing to fast-forward to six months from the last time we saw them. This way they didn't have to deal with following up on the aftermath of the Applewhites' departure; also, Xiao-Mei's more pregnant and they could have Bree realistically able to say yes to Orson's proposal.

Poor unlucky-in-love Bree. She went from one disastrous relationship to the next and then to the next. But tonight's biggest highlight for me was Bree experiencing her very first orgasm without even realizing it. I had been wondering what she was exactly referring to in the promos when she said "I don't do that - I'm a Republican!" Orson's reply was one of the best of the many zingers tonight: "I'm a Libertarian - I believe in minimizing the role of the state and maximizing individual rights." I was already dying when Orson started to go "down there" and Bree was like "Excuse me - did you lose something?" The actress who played the nurse who told Bree she had her first big "O" - Vernee Watson-Johnson - has played a lot of characters in her career, but she will always be remembered (at least to me - hello - showing my age) as one of the original cast members of Welcome Back, Kotter playing Verna Jean, who hung out with the Sweathogs. But let's talk about what made Bree want to have sex with Orson in the first place - he recleaned the wine glasses with red-wine vinegar. Hilarious that Orson's being a clean freak was an aphrodisiac for Bree.

Speaking of great guest stars, Laurie Metcalf gave us her usual brilliance as the Gladys Kravitz-like Carolyn Bigsby. Her final scene, when she exposed Orson as a wife killer, was my second favorite scene and was definitely one of those classic "Desperate Housewives moments." Marcia Cross showed us just why it was a travesty that she wasn't nominated (?!?) for best actress at last month's Emmys (umm... she should have won the frickin' thing, but she wasn't even nominated... don't get me started on that). Also briefly effective was Valerie Mahaffey from Northern Exposure as Alma Hodge. Having the parrot say "Orson - no!" twice when Carolyn arrived at the door was ingenious. Can we assume that was Alma's body in the dirt at the end? We'll have to stay tuned.

Eva Longoria provided the best comic relief tonight. She had so many funny moments that I will randomly choose this one to mention. After Xiao-Mei (the fabulous Gwendoline Yeo) shouted to her: "You are meanest person," Gaby shouted back: "I am the meanest person! You've been in this country for a year - modify your nouns, damn it!" Xiao-Mei: "What a bitch!" I also enjoyed the Susan "misery loves company" story line: Having her meet Ian (Dougray Scott) at the hospital while they both waited for their other halves to come out of their comas was quite clever. Teri Hatcher was awesome in the poignant scene where she asks the comatose Mike permission to go on the (almost) date with Ian: "It's really just dinner." That had to be an easy day at work for James Denton - no lines to memorize.

Nice to see my Nicollette Sheridan back in full form as Edie (she wasn't in the two-hour season finale). I loved how Edie kept trying to sell Paul Young's house with continually bad results. It was perfect to have Mrs. Landingham, I mean Mrs. McCluskey (Kathryn Joosten), be the one to spill the beans to those potential buyers that someone was murdered in the house.

The weakest link is still the Scavo story line. I didn't like it in the season finale and I still don't. The fact that Nora (Kiersten Warren) expects to be such a part of the family now (like wanting to be in the holiday family photo) was absurd. Lynette and Tom scurrying like rats to remove evidence of a kiddie party so Nora wouldn't catch them? Dumb. Let's hope Nora and her daughter Kayla leave town soon (but not Kayla's daddy, Tom - he can stay). I did like Felicity Huffman's line when Tom asked Lynette how he should tell Nora not to be in the photo: "How about 'You're in the frame, bitch - move'?"

So what did you think? Do you agree that this looks to be a better season, for the most part? Or are you desperate to find a different show to watch in the same time slot?

Posted by Dave Anderson 09/25/06 3:18 AM

October 1, 2006: It Takes Two

The title of this episode could've been "Wrong Baby, Wrong Body." The first thing I thought when the black baby came out of Xaio-Mei was: "Did she have sex with one of the Applewhites?" You never know with this show. But then it was revealed that the clinic artificially inseminated Xaio-Mei with the wrong "stuff." Loved when Carlos said (while looking through the video camera): "I've got to get the color fixed on this thing," followed by Gabrielle lowering the camera so Carlos could realize his camera was not faulty. I also enjoyed the scene that followed

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

October 15, 2006: Like It Was

Well, the battle between Susan and Edie for Mike's attention was certainly resurrected tonight. In true soap opera form, Mike finally came out of his coma and the only one not around or even in town was Susan. Susan was gallivanting with Ian in the country again, in a place where there was, of course, poor cell reception. When Susan's daughter Julie finally got through to Susan's cell, I was so hoping Julie would've said: "Umm... Mike came out of his coma. Can you hear me now?" I didn't think Susan was being fair to Ian. She didn't have to reciprocate his flirtations in the first place, but she did. But then I felt bad for Susan when Mike told her he didn't remember her and asked her not to come back for a while since he had to go to physical therapy. Retrograde memory loss will do that to you. You just knew Edie was going to be leering around the corner and then tell na

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

October 22, 2006: Nice She Ain't

As Brenda Strong

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

October 29, 2006: Sweetheart, I Have to Confess

I thoroughly enjoyed tonight's confession-themed episode, as did my roommate Jason, who referred to the Lynette-Susan-Gaby-getting-drunk-on-the-porch scene as one of the all-time funniest and well-written scenes, and I agree. Just that scene alone had highlights galore, like Lynette confessing her innermost feelings about Tom: "I want him to have what he wants

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

November 5, 2006: Bang

I read a lot of advance press about this action-packed sweeps episode, and let me tell you, all the hype did not let me down. I laughed, I cried, I was on the edge of my seat, and I screamed "Shut up!" so many times I lost count. Definitely one of the best episodes ever, so I must first give kudos to the writer

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AWESOME show this week!!!!!

I was watching with an out-of-town visitor who had never seen it........so the first episode she sees has hostages, affairs, murder......

Watching thru her eyes, it was pretty out there........but I loved every single melodramatic moment.......

Kick-ass job to all of them!! But specially Felicity (who is ALWAYS awesome), and Laurie Metcalfe

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

November 12, 2006: Children and Art

Well, you knew that after last week's standout shoot-out episode, tonight was going to be somewhat of a letdown no matter what. How can you top last week? Since my expectations were already lowered, I was able to enjoy tonight for the most part

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Desperate Housewives Preview: Bree Cooks Up a Surprise!

by Mary Murphy

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Alma seein' you, on Desperate Housewives.

We thought she was dead, but in the Nov. 26 episode of ABC's Desperate Housewives, we were shocked to discover that Alma Hodge (Valerie Mahaffey) was alive and well. And in this week's new episode (airing Sunday at 9 pm/ET), she's coming to Wisteria Lane to

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Courtesy of: TV GUIDE, TODAYS NEWS: OUR TAKE

TV Guide Exclusive: Housewives Hits the Road to Avoid Pregnant Pause

Marcia Cross, who is expecting twins in April, was put on immediate bed rest last week for the remainder of her pregnancy, TV Guide has learned. The doctor's orders sent Desperate Housewives producers scrambling to wrap up Bree's current story line, ultimately deciding that if Cross can't come to the shoot, then the shoot will come to Cross. At the end of this week, they will move the production of the show to the actress' West Los Angeles home for two days. (Cross

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Dixie Carter Dissects Desperate Housewives' One Tough Mother

by Matt Webb Mitovich

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Dixie Carter, Desperate Housewives

What did she know, and when did she know it? Such questions apply not only to Desperate Housewives' devious Gloria, but also to her portrayer, Dixie Carter. TVGuide.com invited the veteran actress and stage star to take a long, hard look at her Machiavellian matriarch.

TVGuide.com: I understand they're expanding your presence on Wisteria Lane in the weeks to come?

Dixie Carter: Yes.... My shows are going to air up to the first of April. I'm just thrilled to be doing this. This is really an extraordinary role. And, of course, we have to be very secretive about what's going to happen. Everybody grabs me in airports or shops and says things like, "Is he going to kill you?" Of course they mean, "Is your son, Orson, on Desperate Housewives going to kill you, his mother Gloria?"

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

January 14, 2007: Not While I'm Around

First thing I need to say right off the bat is how funny I thought the show was tonight. Not that I don't always think it's humorous, but I found it even funnier than normal so I must commend the writers

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

January 21, 2007: Come Play Wiz Me

After last week's laugh-filled hour, tonight was a bit of a letdown as far as the humor level goes. This doesn't mean I didn't like this episode

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

February 11, 2007: I Remember That

Three weeks ago (when the last new episode aired), I briefly whined: "When oh, when will we get to see Monique in flashbacks again?" So you know I was screaming with joy when I got my wish tonight! Not only did Monique (Kathleen York) reappear in a flashback, but we also got so many answers, as did Mike Delfino, all thanks to his hypnotherapist (Miriam Flynn). So Mike didn't kill Monique

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

February 18, 2007: The Little Things You Do Together

Those promos at the end of last week's episode were right. We finally got answers to so many questions involving Orson's past:

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I saw the actress who plays Gloria (I forget her name) in an interview, and she said she loves playing this role because Gloria is so thoroughly evil. She sure is...and it is very convincing acting.

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Housewives Boss Eyes 2011 for Series Finale

In what is being touted as one of the year's biggest TV deals, Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry has inked a four-year, eight-figure pact with ABC Television Studio (n

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

March 4, 2007: My Husband, the Pig

What a refreshing change of pace: an entire episode told from the point of view of the husbands rather than the wives. And who better to narrate than one of the dead husbands? Rex Van De Kamp (Steven Culp), great to have you back, or at least your voice. Reminded me a bit of the one time George narrated instead of Meredith on Grey's Anatomy. Shifting the focus to the husbands was an effective way of keeping our minds occupied during the absence of Marcia Cross. You've heard of going braless; well, this episode was Bree-less. But hey, Momma was preparing to have twins. Good timing for Bree to be off "visiting her parents" while her slutty daughter Danielle discovered she was pregnant. And just when Julie was forgiving Austin for cheating on her with Danielle. I loved Danielle loudly puking after Julie was telling Austin she'd give him another chance. Did any of you think Andrew was about to proposition Austin into sleeping with him as blackmail so Andrew wouldn't tell Julie about Danielle being pregnant with Austin's baby? It wouldn't have surprised me. But he's leaving town "for a while" so Austin won't be getting any action on Wisteria Lane anytime soon.

Comedy MVP for this hubby-centric episode was Ricardo Antonio Chavira as Carlos, which was appropriate since comedy MVP is usually Eva Longoria as Gabrielle. I enjoyed watching Carlos interact with all the husbands, like calling Tom "Foldylocks" since Tom kept folding during their poker game. Then he referred to Ian as "Fish 'n Chips." But it was also worthwhile to see Carlos' serious side throughout the hour, like when he had the sexually compulsive online date (Crystal Allen) over and was more concerned with Edie's son Travers (Jake Cherry) being alone outside. Speaking of showing a serious side, what a rare moment to see Edie so vulnerable, admitting to Carlos that she gave her ex-husband custody of their son because she didn't think she was a good enough mother. We can all agree that she was right about that

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

April 8, 2007: Dress Big

It's been a month since we were last treated with a new episode. Was it worth the wait? For the most part, I'd say yes. These Marcia Cross-less episodes show just how pivotal both the actress and the character of Bree are to the show. But I think you'll agree that the consolation prize is pretty nice: No Bree = more Edie! Nicollette Sheridan rarely gets a chance to truly shine like she did tonight. That scene toward the end, with Edie undressing in front of Carlos, was one of Nicollette's best moments ever. It reminded me of her classic strip croquet scene from years ago on Knots Landing. She still has a rockin' bod. I loved Edie slowly shedding her clothing, literally and figuratively giving Carlos the naked truth, admitting that her breasts aren't as perky as they once were and that she has a C-section scar. Yes, Edie has her faults

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

April 22, 2007: God, That's Good

I love it when the DH writers give us those moments that involve a murder or a mystery and only one character is told the story behind the murder or the solution to the mystery, but we as viewers don't hear it and are left wondering. In this case, little Parker Scavo was told by Mrs. McCluskey exactly why her dead husband is inside her freezer, but he was sworn to secrecy. I assumed Ida Greenberg would be the one to first discover the secret (after seeing last week's coming attractions), but I didn't expect one of the Scavo boys to be the very first discoverer. Parker's look of utter shock was perfect (kudos to Zane Huett for being a super little actor). One of the funniest parts was at the hospital when Parker first told Mrs. McCluskey about his encounter while they were alone. Mrs. M: "Don't tell your brothers

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

April 29, 2007: Gossip

Seems as though just about all of the housewives were having feelings for two men tonight. Susan had to choose between Ian and Mike; Gabrielle was dealing with her jealous feelings about Carlos while celebrating her engagement to Victor; and Lynette was further flirting innocently with Rick, much to the suspicions of Tom. For the first time ever, Edie was the only housewife devoting her attention to just one man. Nice change of pace for an episode that focused on the subject of gossip.

First off, can we all agree that we're happy our dear Mrs. McCluskey was released from jail and finally told everyone what she secretly revealed to just Parker last week? I don't think any of us wanted her to be a murderer. Mrs. McC's explanation that she came home and found her husband dead on the couch with the remote still in his hand made perfect sense when she added that she discovered his pension plan had not been changed to make her the beneficiary (silly Gilbert forgot to switch it from his first wife). What better reason to put him in the freezer? OK, I'm not saying I would've done the same thing, but at least we found out the method behind her madness. Quick side note to let you know what a TV addict I am: my roommate once came home and found me asleep (but not dead) on the couch sitting in an upright position with the remote still in my hand. Had to share.

Back to DH... I loved how jealous Gaby got about Carlos dating Edie. It did not surprise me that she asked Susan and Lynette not to be Edie's friend, but it was oh-so-Edie for Edie to lure Lynette to Travers' birthday party by having her cater it, and then having Susan there to sign copies of her book. I think my favorite scene of the entire episode was the dialogue between Carlos and Gaby after he picked her up and carried her away from the party. Carlos: "So if I'm just dating and you're in love and getting married, remind me again why it is that you get to be the angry one?" What a way to shut Gaby up.

You knew that as soon as Susan told Mike she decided she was going ahead with her marriage to Ian that it would be a short-lived decision. Mike telling her, "At least I have my memories," was the best way to keep Susan's mind focused on Mike. Playing Mike's phone message twice while Ian was standing behind her sealed the deal for Ian to skip town and head back to England. Sucks that Mike also skipped town. Ida sure summed it up to Susan: "I always liked him." You are not alone, Ida.

Once again, they gave little Kayla something of substance to do. Yes, she can be a little brat, but at least she's protecting her daddy. I thought it was appropriate for Kayla to be the person to see Lynette being flirty with Rick and to alert Tom. I liked when Tom showed up with all the kids via cab to surprise Lynette, spoiling Rick's plans with her. Of course Lynette was not going to agree with Tom when he suggested letting Rick go to save money now that Tom was getting better.

Other highlights I'd like to point out:

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

May 6, 2007: Into the Woods

I just knew that Victor Lang (John Slattery) was going to turn out to be a bad guy. He seemed too perfect. But didn't you think his mean streak came out of nowhere? He acted as though Gabrielle had never done a stupid thing before with the way he yelled at her. Yes, Gaby jumped in his arms like a child when it looked as though he was going to win the mayoral race. Yes, Gaby can be a "high maintenance nightmare," as brilliantly described by Vern (Alec Mapa). And yes, Gaby got arrested for her shenanigans with the cop (Brendan Patrick Connor), ripping up the parking tickets since she thought it was acceptable behavior for the new "First Lady of Fairview." But did Victor have to yell at her like an abusive father to a daughter? You knew as soon as he saw the bruise on her wrist caused by the cop that Victor was going to have something done to the guy. Enter the two thugs, beating up the cop. But Gaby's going ahead with the wedding. Let's see if she indeed says "I do" in two weeks.

Kudos to the casting department once again for bringing back a TV actor that hasn't been seen in a while: Greg Evigan! What a perfect choice to play Edie's ex-husband and father of Travers. Greg is mostly remembered for BJ and the Bear and My Two Dads, but let's talk irony with the fact that he also played Dr. Dan Hathaway on Melrose Place. Why is this ironic? Because Dr. Dan was the eventual lover of Matt Fielding, played by Doug Savant. I'll get to Doug as Tom in just a bit. I was glad Carlos talked Edie out of her request for joint custody. You could tell Carlos was getting too attached to Travers

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

May 13, 2007: What Would We Do Without You?

Admit it

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"Extra"-special RSVP: TV Guide's Housewives Wedding Blog

by Mary Murphy, aka "the guest in the blue suit"

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TV Guide's Mary Murphy (in blue) attends a Desperate Housewives wedding.

Day 1: Exciting News. I am going to be on the finale of Desperate Housewives [airing Sunday at 9 pm/ET].

As a way to write a story for TV Guide magazine, I am going to be a guest at Eva Longoria's wedding. Not that wedding! I will be an "extra" at Gaby's wedding to Victor (played by John Slattery). I hope she doesn't get cold feet

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Desperate Housewives

by Dave Anderson

May 20, 2007: Getting Married Today

Well, they said the final scene would be a shocker, and they were right. I am speechless. You know how much I love my Edie. Would it be too much to ask to have Carlos heroically and miraculously walk in during the very first scene this fall and save her? I do not want this show to go on without Nicollette Sheridan. Yes, Edie is not one of the four main housewives, but the show would not be the same without her. Soap operas have had people hang themselves and be saved at the last minute. Until I get a confirmation, I'm going to spend this entire summer believing Edie is not dead. Just call me DID

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Desperate Housewives

by Aimee Deeken

Lynette's Secret Revealed

Episode Recap: "Now You Know"

Though Bree's secret is still under wraps (literally), Lynette couldn't hide hers any longer. I don't blame her at all for playing the "cancer card" (as her mother said) in order to tell off that witchy school mom. The whole time, I was aching for Lynette to rip off her wig

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