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Smallville (includes SPOILERS)

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FROM TV GUIDE: The Water Cooler

Smallville

No way! Did you see that coming? The gihugantic element that plowed into Smallville? So cool! I figured they would use the blow-out finale to wrap up the mystical crystal story line, but this? Forget about it. Ya got special effects out the wazoo, Lana shanking Genevieve, Jor-El barking at Clark about following his destiny, Jason pulling a Desperate Hours on a surprisingly heroic Jonathan and Martha and meteors turning the whole damn place into The Day After with prettier survivors. Oh, and lest we forget, it looks like the three stones are like, the key to the Fortress of Solitude or something. I mean, hello! The trumpet-soaked Superman-y music after Clark was zapped from the cave to the Arctic? Total foreshadowing. As for the Teagues, we'll miss you, Jane Seymour. It was a hoot. And yes, you guys were right: Jason survived Lionel's bullet last week, though I'm pretty sure he won't be walking out of the Kents' now that the farm has, well... bought the farm. Besides, WB is already running ads for Jensen Ackles' new fall series, so it's a safe bet he's a goner this time. Lionel, I'm not so sure about. He seems pretty out of it right now, but if Lana can survive that helicopter crash, old man Luthor could be up and running by September, right? If he is, Lex is in for a world of trouble. And somehow, I'm guessing his little romantic confession to Miss On-the-Lam Lang is going to make things easier. Though if Lois tracks down her sister in Europe and decides to come back, we could have an interesting love triangle. Then you throw in Lex, maybe Chloe... oh, man, it's going to be a long summer.

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Episode 5.1 - Arrival

Teaser:

- Out of the ship that Lana finds come what seem to be two Kryptonians - Nam-Ek, a "beautifully built black man," and a blond female named Aethyr. Sounds like they're naked, as all Kryptonians are when Smallville seasons begin. So much for that "suit that Clark was going to wear in Superman Returns" rumor, eh?

- Aethyr superspeeds in front of Lana. Lana notices a Kryptonian symbol on the small of Aethyr's back that is identical in look and placement to the one that Lana had on her back in Season 4.

- Lana asks the strangers who they are and where they're from. A military chopper approaches, and Aethyr sends it spiraling out of control, thanks to a burst of heat vision. Then, Nam-Ek uses his heat vision power to completely incinerate the chopper. Twenty armed soldiers approach in Humvees, and bullets bounce right off of the two strange visitors. They then incinerate all of their attackers with their heat vision.

- A Humvee charges full throttle at Aethyr, who grabs it by the bumper and flips the vehicle into the air. After all this commotion, Aethyr asks Nam-Ek where the girl has gone to. "She's of no use," he says. "We must find Kal-El." Lana hides and crouches in the bushes as all this is going on. End of teaser...

A few minutes later:

- Lex comes up from the rubble inside of the cave. His hand is bruised. He walks into the cave's inner chamber, and finds Chloe's cell phone laying on the ground. Lex spots the altar, where the octagonal key is resting. He examines the octagonal key, and hears a "You!" from behind. It's Nam-Ek and Aethyr, wearing fatigues stolen from the military people. Lex thinks they're really soldiers, and tells them that everything is under control, and that they're probably needed elsewhere. Nam-Ek asks Lex where Kal-El is. "Who?" Lex asks. "He possesses the octagonal key," Aethyr says, and in doing something that sounds like the Force in Star Wars, Nam-Ek lifts his hand and the key rockets into his palm. They ask Lex if he is Kal-El. "Who wants to know?" Lex asks. Aethyr grabs Lex by the throat and digs her nails into his skin. "Kal-El would not bleed," she says.

And then....

- We see the Arctic tundra, and there's a human figure laying face down in the ice. It's Chloe. We don't know for sure what happens next, but it's a pretty safe bet that by episode's end, or at least early in the season, Chloe and Clark will have to have a little talk, because she now knows everything about where his powers came from and he's not your average run-of-the-mill meteor freak.

Meanwhile, at the hospital...

- Lois visits the Kents to make sure they're all right. She makes a comment about how they let her have a home before, so the least she could do is to help out when it came crashing down. The Kents smile, and then a shattering explosion shakes the walls. In the corridor are Nam-Ek and Aethyr. "Tell us where Kal-El is, or suffer the fate of your brethren," they warn. The sheriff fires his gun at them and the bullets fly off. (The script says his, but hey, isn't Nancy a she?) Lois watches in disbelief. Nam-Ek approaches Jonathan. "Where is Kal-El?" Aethyr demands that they are taken to him, that Jonathan would know where he is. Jonathan is shocked to hear someone saying Clark's Kryptonian name.

- Aethyr reaches for Jonathan, when Lois intervenes. "I know where Kal-El is!" She tells them that Kal-El is at Fort Ryan and is waiting for them. "I'll take you to him right now. But you have to promise to behave yourselves. That means no blowing stuff up. Got it?" Lois asks. Nam-Ek and Aethyr each take Lois by an arm. Lois grins, trying to cover her fear.

And what of Lana?

- Lana wakes up on a couch in the mezzanine of Luthor Mansion. Her leg is bandaged up. She hears a scratching noise coming from downstairs. She looks down, and sees the Kryptonian symbol that she saw on the man and the woman, carved into the wood floor. Then it is revealed who is doing the carving - it's Lionel! "Mr. Luthor, what are you doing?" Lana asks.... and sadly, that's all we know right now.

Clark and the Kents Reunited

- Clark eventually makes his way to the hospital where the Kents are at. Jonathan tells Clark that they're looking for Kal-El. "I'll make it easy for them. Where are they?" he asks

At the military hangar....

- Lois gets Aethyr and Nam-Ek to the military hangar and is stalling them with chit-chat. "Conversation? Don't they do that where you come from?" Lois asks. Aethyr reveals that the place they come from doesn't exist anymore. Nam-Ek gets angry. He realizes that Kal-El is not there. Lois tells him that Kal-El is right around some metal trunks in the corner, that that is "where he likes to hang out." The two walk toward the trunks, which are labeled "Lead Munitions." Behind them is nothing but a rat, but it buys Lois the time to pick up a rocket launcher. Yes. A rocket launcher. Lois fires and it blasts towards the duo. Nam-Ek catches the rocket, but it still explodes, engulfing the both of them. The Kryptonians emerge from the blast. Lois is terrified. "Whoops..."

Somewhere in Act Four...

- Lionel slumps toward the ground, unconscious. Lex gets up, out of breath, with a stream of blood trickling like a tear down his cheek.

- Nam-Ek and Aethyr are not pleased with Lois's ruse. "It was just a little prank," Lois babbles nervously. "Don't you guys have a sense of humor?" They hold her up in the air. "Guess not." Aethyr throws her 20 feet into a shelf of supplies. Things, and Lois, crash into the floor. Suddenly, Clark blurs out in superspeed, grabs both Nam-Ek and Aethyr by the hand, and throws THEM 80 feet, slamming into a cargo jeep. Yay for Smallville and the throwing around gag. They stand from the wreckage, unfazed. "We are not your enemies, Kal-El. We mean you no harm," says Nam-Ek. Nam-Ek explains that they three are the last survivors of Krypton, and that together they can do what their forefathers envisioned. "I saw what you did at the hospital," Clark tells them. "That's not utopia. It's murder."

- Aethyr tells Clark that some must be sacrificed for the sake of the many."

- Clark challenges her. "Then you'll have to sacrifice me, because I won't allow you to kill anyone else."

- Aethyr takes off her metallic bracelet and hurls it onto the floor. The bracelet mushrooms into a vortex of wind and black-purple light. "We cannot destroy you, Kal-El, but we can put you in a place where you cannot stop us," Nam-Ek tells him. Clark struggles as he is dragged toward the inferno.

- Clark uses some new skills he learned at the Fortress of Solitude earlier in the episode (obviously material we don't yet have spoilers for). He musters all of his strength to break free, and....

Source: Kryptonsite

General Season 5 Spoilers:

  • 05/30 - The hit series kicks into a new gear as both Clark Kent (Tom Welling) and Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) rocket closer to their respective destinies. "Clark has spent four years running from who he is; this season he finally embraces it and begins to move forward," Series Co-creator and Executive Producer Alfred Gough says. "Meanwhile, Lex will spiral closer and closer to the dark side." The season will also see fan favorite Erica Durance return for 13 more episodes as Lois Lane, more stories set in Metropolis and a new villain who Gough claims "gives even Lionel Luthor pause." Source: Wizard Magazine (Thanks to KryptonSite for the tip.)

05/17 - For Clark (Tom Welling), now the most eligible bachelor in Kansas, it's hard hiding his extraordinary gifts behind farmboy flannel. Now he's off to college, enrolling close to his home (and sweetheart Lana), but still heeding the call of his Kryptonian destiny. Remaining true to the original mythology, Clark finds himself traveling great distances to unlock his true potential. Lex Luthor, meanwhile, continues battling for control of his father's company as he comes to realize his own destiny, one bent on power, destruction, and revenge. Source: The WB

05/17 - About to begin its fifth season on The WB,

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Episode 5.02: Mortal

Airdate: Fall 2005

07/07 - Lex has had Lionel admitted into Belle Reve. He's still in a "Kryptonian trance." The scene sounds like a complete reversal of "Shattered," where Lionel was looking in on Lex. This time, the tables are turned. Four armed guards are moving three patients along. There's a "hulking, tattooed badass" named Tommy Lee. He's with a pair of eerily gaunt twins. (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen maybe? Kidding.) Tommy Lee apparently has a power to control electricity flow and uses it to make his escape. The two twins he is with slam their fists together which leads into a white hot glow that fuses them together into a rippling force field. They ask Tommy Lee where their next destination will be. He tells them it will be Smallville. The Kent house is being repaired after the effects of the meteor shower. Half of the walls are stripped to the studs. (Did someone say stripping? It's early Season 4 all over again) This information we have apparently is somewhere around the middle of the scene, because Clark is being tossed into a wall. Lana rushes to him and tells the people who did it to "Stop it!" Reveal the twins and Tommy Lee. "You're a legend in Belle Reve," Tommy tells Clark. "Half the freaks are in there because of you," he says, right in front of Lana. Lana asks what he's talking about. Clark claims he's got the wrong guy. Tommy yanks Lana up, holding her by her "porcelain neck." (Their words, not ours) He licks the side of her face, which enrages Clark. Clark heads towards him and Tommy draws power from the exposed wiring to electrocute Clark. Clark goes down, in pain. Tommy and the twins think they have the wrong person. Chloe is down in the caves looking at the symbols on the wall and the damaged altar in the open chamber room. She tries to let go of the memory of being transported across the world in a flash of light. The next scene we know of, which is a little later, has Lex talking to Chloe... possibly in the caves. "I think you know more than you're telling me, Chloe," Lex tells her, warning her that she's getting involved in a "dangerous game" by covering up for Clark. "Like covering up the spaceship Lana said crashed during the meteor shower?" Chloe retorts. Lex claims Lana was hysterical and didn't know what she was talking about. "Stop asking questions, Lex, or I'll start asking my own," Chloe threatens. Tommy Lee apparently isn't so much of an enemy to Clark anymore, or at least now they're talking rather than throwing each other across the room, because they're talking inside the Kent kitchen. Clark learns that Tommy Lee spent a few weeks inside of Level Three. Tommy jokingly refers to the two gaunt twins as "the Wonder Twins." Tommy needs Clark to break into Level Three to get him and his friends some kind of "serum." The serum, a "nifty green cocktail," amped up Tommy and the twins' powers, and became addictive. Then, they were moved from Level Three into Belle Reve, and boom, no more cocktails. "If the stories I heard about you are true, you shouldn't have any problem" with getting in, Tommy Lee tells Clark. The Kents approach, and Tommy Lee apparently makes himself scarce. Jonathan and Martha return home and find Clark alone. Martha notices Lana's SUV there but doesn't know where she is; Clark says she wasn't feeling well and was laying down. Clark's shirt is inside out - probably from something having to do with the fight with the FOTW's - but it's likely that the Kents think something else was happening there. Clark tries to get his parents to leave and go to the hardware store; when that tactic doesn't work, he tries something else. Seems like he thinks his parents will be in danger. Source: KryptonSite

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FROM TV GUIDE: Entertainment News

HE'S A BRAINIAC, BRAINIAC...: James Marsters (aka Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel) will be joining the cast of WB's Smallville this fall as college professor Milton Fine, aka the alter ego of Brainiac, one of Superman's greatest and most formidable villains. Says a WB rep, "Brainiac's presence in Smallville will have a devastating effect on Clark and Lex's already deteriorating friendship." Marsters' run is slated for six episodes. Hey, does Lois Lane need another sister, perhaps played by Sarah Michelle Gellar?

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FROM TV GUIDE: Entertainment News

WE'RE STILL HOLDING OUT FOR AN ENOS CAMEO: Tom Wopat is set to reunite with his former Dukes of Hazzard costar John Schneider on the latter actor's WB hit, Smallville, this season. Wopat will guest in a single episode as a childhood chum of Clark Kent's pa (Schneider) who is now a highfalutin' senator. And for those of you still having palpitations over the news that Spike

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FROM SpoilerFix

Episode 5.05: Thirst

Airdate: Fall 2005

08/09 - A pizza delivery boy is attacked by three Met U sorority girls when they invite him to eat pizza in their Jacuzzi. The sorority members seem to be vampires but with a Kryptonite twist. New pledges will soon make their way to the sorority, including Lana. She will end up becoming the sole remaining pledge

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FROM SpoilerFix

Episode 5.01: Arrival

Airdate: September 29, 2005

08/18 - Kristin: Now, your character is a college professor named Dr. Fine who transforms into Brainiac, right? So, are you starting off as Dr. Fine? Will we see that transformation? James: You're gonna see it very early, and that's all I know. I think I'm gonna start as something almost unrecognizable and become Dr. Fine. You'll see me in the very first episode. Source: Kristin on E!Online

Episode 5.06: Exposed

Airdate: Fall 2005

08/18 - Lois is moving into the apartment over the Talon. Chloe hasn't been to Smallville in weeks; it seems she got the job at the Daily Planet. A frantic woman named Melissa Knox wants to meet her in a seedier district of Metropolis. Lois accompanies her cousin at the meeting where Melissa is shot. The cousins do some investigating. They need to get in a club but are having a hard time. Luckily, the girls are resourceful. Calrk ends up at the same club where he meets senator Jack Jennings (played by Tom Wopat). The club owner is up to no good and Clark uses his super-hearing to listen in on him. Metropolis PD comes in the club wanting to question people about the death of one of the club's dancer (Melissa?). Somehow, Clark and Chloe will get arrested. Thanks to Lex, both are released. Chloe and Clark try to clear things up and find Lois who is detained by the club owner. Jonathan appears in the episode. Source: Summary from SpoilerFix.com based on spoilers from KryptonSite.

07/23 - Tom Wopat will guest star in one episode as a state senator who was a boyhood friend of Jonathan Kent. Source: The WB

General Season 5 Spoilers:

08/18 - James Marsters revealed that: "I'm contracted for six to 10, so I hope it's 10." Source: Kristin on E!Online

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Loved seeing James Marsters in the last scene tonight. Just getting a look at him without the bleached blonde hair - and a few years older. Can't wait until next week when he probably actually speaks!!! B)

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FROM TV GUIDE: The Water Cooler

Smallville

I admit it. I'm superexcited for this entire season. We're about to get Tom Welling and James Marsters on the same show. Yeah, I know, I'm gushing. Sue me. But before you do, let's talk. Last season, I watched on and off, so I admit to some confusion with all things three stones, Lana's tattooed back and Jane Seymour. But that's behind me. I think this season, The Powers That Be really need to up the ante and become bigger and better, especially since the show is in a dreadful time slot. And here's just a few ways they're already going about it.

1) There's no better way to hook me than going all Superman 2. Seriously, the Kryptonian superhumans that came to Earth. Lionel Luthor uttering "The disciples of Zod must be stopped." Clark entering the Fortress of Solitude. Over the top, but I fell for it. Except for the way Kal-El got rid of the bad guys. Too easy and cheesy.

2) Clark now knows Chloe knows about his secret. Those scenes in the hospital were classic. But one thing: Why didn't Clark tell Chloe that his best friend, formerly known as Pete, knew his secret? I guess out of Smallville, out of mind.

3) Oh, Lana. Freaky city in this episode. I mean, scary! It's like she was possessed without really being possessed. Don't know how I feel about her and Clark's reunion. I'm going to have ponder that one for a week.

4) It seems my favorite couple on the show might be hitting a bit of turbulence. Those stares between Lex and Clark were icy. Fortress of Solitude icy. Where's the love, boys?

5) I saved the best for last, since it was appropriately the supercool last scene of the entire episode: James Marsters pouring from the spaceship that Lana stupidly told Lex about. Welcome to Smallville, Spikey! Can't wait to see what trouble you're gonna get into.

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Episode 5.03: Hidden

Airdate: October 13, 2005

  • 10/01 - Chloe is warned by Gabriel (guest star Johnny Lewis) that he is going to set off a missile and obliterate all of Smallville. Still stripped of his super powers, Clark confronts Gabriel and ends up getting shot. In the hospital, Clark flatlines and his fate is left in Jor-El's hands. Meanwhile, Lex believes Lionel has the key to open the spaceship. Kristin Kreuk, Erica Durance, Annette O'Toole and John Schneider also star. Source: The WB
  • 10/01 - Clark is shot and Chloe is kidnapped by a computer wiz who has programmed a missile to annihilate Smallville in hopes of ridding the world of the town's "meteor freaks." Elsewhere, Lex questions Lana about the spaceship she saw. Gabriel: Johnny Lewis. Source: TV Guide Online
Episode 5.09: Lexmas

Airdate: November/December 2005

  • 10/01 -Clark uses his super speed and deposits presents under a tiny tree in a house in Metropolis. He repeats this process somewhere else. A little girl named Cindy Lou catches him. "You're not Santa Claus." Clark pulls out a Santa hat and puts it on his head. "Sure, I am. This year's new and improved model," he tells her. But if he's "Santa," then who is the fat, jolly white-haired man across the street, teetering on a rooftop while taking a swig from a bottle? Clark talks to the "Santa" to try and find out what he's so down about, and why he wants to jump off the ledge. "Santa" thinks the spirit of Christmas is dead, and that all people do is bitch and complain. Clark tells "Santa" what he's been going through himself, and we learn that Clark has "given up his first Christmas with the girl he's loved since he spied on her through his telescope" to instead give out toys. "I wasn't spying," Clark tells him. Clark says he's not the only one helping out with delivering gifts to these children in need. Chloe is helping too. Clark's conversation convinces Santa the Christmas spirit isn't gone. "Though it's certainly packaged better these days," he says, looking at Clark. They say their goodbyes, but as Santa waves, he accidentally begins to slip off the ledge anyway. Clark's got to save him. Chloe is exhausted at her computer at the Daily Planet, when she has a visitor - Santa. He tells her about his meeting Clark and offers to help. "I am familiar with the job," he says. He asks her to give him just "five deliveries," but Chloe turns away to do something. When she turns around, Santa is gone - doing the Clark-like disappearing act - and the presents are gone, too. A doctor orders for Lex's glucose to be increased and for that person to be given twelve CC's. Suddenly, in comes Lionel with two air ambulance personnel. The doctor orders "more suction" and "exposure" for Lex, who's apparently pretty ill. They're near losing him. Lex and Lionel talk after Lex's surgery. The scene is VERY peaceful between the two. Lex has just undergone a "life-threatening operation." Source: KryptonSite

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FROM TV GUIDE: The Water Cooler

Smallville

Well, well, well, those randy little devils. The big story: In the final moments of the episode, Clark and Lana get down and dirty and give into the throes of love. How Harlequin Romance of me, right? Anyway, I've been inspired to make some observations and yes, possibly even a confession or two.

1) I guess Powerless Clark is free to go gaga over Lana as much as he wants. But does he have to do it in front of Chloe? That Kent boy can be so insensitive sometimes.

2) Kenny Johnson plays that silly Electro dude that breaks out of Bellerive with the Powder twins. I love, love, love me some Kenny Johnson. Seriously. Many of you know him as "Lemonhead" on FX's The Shield but, (Confession #1): I used to watch him on Pensacola: Wings of Gold. Please keep that between you and me. I have a rep to protect.

3) Clark tells a shocked Chloe that Pete knows about his powers. That makes me happy. I'm a freak

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FROM TV GUIDE: The Water Cooler

Question: Can you please bestow some Smallville news upon us?

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FROM TV GUIDE: The Water Cooler

Smallville

5) I saved the best for last, since it was appropriately the supercool last scene of the entire episode: James Marsters pouring from the spaceship that Lana stupidly told Lex about. Welcome to Smallville, Spikey! Can't wait to see what trouble you're gonna get into.

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This ought to be exciting. What sucks is I have no clue what channel the new episodes of Smallville come in Canada anymore. The channel are normally watched it out, changed their damn program schedule. If anyone knows, could they tell me? :)

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This ought to be exciting. What sucks is I have no clue what channel the new episodes of Smallville come in Canada anymore. The channel are normally watched it out, changed their damn program schedule. If anyone knows, could they tell me? :)

Wish I knew - I'd hate for anyone to miss James. :D

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Courtesy of: TV GUIDE, THE WATER COOLER

Smallville

Where to start? OK, I know. Princess Leia, editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet, who knew? Favorite-line honors go to the actor formerly known as William the Bloody: "Clark, there's no such thing as vampires." I know, we saw the line teased ad nauseum from the second last week's episode ended. I don't care. Loved it. What do you want? I'm easy. But TPTB did lay the Buffy shtick on a little thick didn't they? You know how Law & Order is known for being "ripped from the headlines"? Every once in a while Smallville gives us a 'sode that's ripped from other shows. You know what I'm talking about. Last year Lana got possessed by a 17th-century witch and then proceeded to turn Lois and Chloe into her buddy witches. It had Charmed written all over it, right down to the threesome's barely there Alyssa Milano get-ups. So this time we get a Tri-Psi sorority vampira named Buffy Sanders. Sanders. Not Summers. (Summers + Xander = Sanders, maybe?) Anyway, the not-Buffy Buffy and her gaggle o' Harmonies initiate Ms. Lang by turning her into Ms. Fang. This forces her BF to develop another alter ego

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Thanks, Dade!

I taped it Thursday (it's on opposite Survivor, for Pete's sake) so I just got done watching it today. I enjoyed the Buffy references - very tongue in cheek. Also loved that Milton Fine aka Brainiac is finally showing his true evil colors!

BTW - does anyone else detect a hint of southern accent in James's character, Milton Fine? I know I'm used to the english accent and all, but it just sounds so strange.

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Courtesy of: TV GUIDE, THE WATERCOOLER

Smallville

No Lana. No Martha. No fine Professor Fine. But plenty of them Duke boys. Just when Bo Duke says something about Clark "hightailing it back to Metropolis," up comes Luke Duke speeding around the bend in a blue Dodge Charger. Not exactly the General Lee but close enough. Luke's a senator in this Smallville universe and wouldn't you know it, he's landed smack dab in the middle of a scandal involving a dead stripper he'd been sleeping with. And just when the veteran politician is running for reelection against the dastardly Lex Luthor. Jonathan and Clark think Lex is behind setting Luke up, but he does a nice job of deflecting blame, letting it slip that some Sheriff Roscoe was behind the whole thing. OK, that didn't happen. But I really, really wanted it to happen. Instead, Clark tries to clear Luke's sinking reputation. How, you ask? By going to his hero's frequent hangout

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