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Utopia Friday, October 3rd, 2014 This Time "Every society needs new blood" so says our very strange host Dan Piraro, but our Utopian's are more focused on kicking out "old blood" on this episode. Kristen takes a stab at converting the government of Utopia into a Corporation and ends up selling Josh as her first official act. Capital(ism) Sales Meeting Let me first say, this would have happened much sooner if it wasn't for Bella. Bella through a huge fit many weeks ago about "being in charge" and Kristen was convinced (by production) to give up her 3rd place in line for choosing a government in order to placate Bella. There was a much, much longer discussion of this new government than was shown on tonight's episode, I will endeavor to fill in a few gaps. You should know going into this "capitalism as government" that it is Kristen and AARON'S baby, although he leaves her hanging at the meeting. So, let's see, Kristen's motto in life is MONEY. She wants to divide up Utopia into private and group businesses. No government really, after all a capitalist society will be self-correcting right? The split will be 60/40, you keep 60% of your private business money and 40% will go to the group "fund". If you don't have any skills or ideas for a private business, or don't have the money to buy supplies, you can work for her or Aaron and they will give you a very small percentage of the money they make off your labor. As you might imagine many of our Utopians were distinctly unhappy. Josh's said "that is not capitalism, it's greed, and if making money is your priority, that's not what this is all about. For anyone working in the garden, the barn or on construction there is no incentive to keep doing it, they only make $37 a week. Why should they do any group work at all? Shouldn't they just work on their private business and make real money? Rob says they will just vote out the person that is making the most money and take over their private business(lol). Amanda asks what's to keep them from competing against each other and under cutting the price to steal customers? Josh says he'll just sabotage your businesses and run off all paying customers (and Mr. Shorty, Shorts Sunday can do it too). Is it getting hot in here? Hex points out that Ernesto, Taylor, Josh and Rob will all be forced into selling their labor and it will deteriorate into an owner vs. labor class system. Dedeker says she doesn't even want to run a business, what is going to happen to her? As Rob correctly points out, Dedeker would be on "welfare" from the group fund. Aaron finally blows his top and asks them "where do you see yourself going??!! Are you happy with just $37??!! While Kristen is in the kitchen Amanda says "your idea of Utopia is Capitalism right?" Kristen says "yea, capitalism, but individual growth that helps the group succeed". I think she has that line written on her hand. Amanda, "you don't have kids right? Who do you have to support?" Kristen, "myself and my dog" Amanda "well here you have 14 other people to support". That is the last straw for Kristen, very few people are on board with her ideas. She meets Aaron out by the pasture were she is usually talking smack about her fellow Utopians, only this time it's her crying over Amanda's grilling of her. She wants to go home but Aaron reassures her that she is needed here, and that Amanda is just "afraid", because according to Kristen all the Utopians except her and Aaron are "afraid of success because they are afraid of failure". By the way, Kristen's private business is "Marketing", that puts her finger in everybody else's "private business" pie. The Utopians go on and on about this subject and I am sure it will rear its ugly head many times in the future. The Vote after the Vote With Bella, Bri and Red up for replacement it's time to get on the campaign trail. Well, everyone but Red that is, he says "the vote don't matter" to him, and oh ya, "you can't fix stupid". Bri goes around telling everyone her Utopia is about unity, love and peace for as long as she can hold you down. Most of the pioneers don't know anything about her because she was "Bris" for the first four weeks, now that's over, she needs you to know Utopia is about LOVE. Bella explains that she is a "worker", her problem, she says, is she works too much. Now she is going to relax and make money painting. I'm not sure Bella understands how to campaign. Rob is leading the charge to boot out Red, and he used the meetings to be sure everyone knows it too as he is always the host. Josh is recruiting votes left and right to get Bri out, he is convinced America saw her doing some nefarious thing on the live feeds and that's why we voted for her. He cannot tolerate someone doing something behind his back that he doesn't know about and so Bri has to go. Before the meeting we find out that Red has been at the ER for the past two days. How are they going to pay for that I wonder? Do the Utopians qualify for Obamacare? Anyway, he is pretty emotional about his finger, he got an infection you see and it went to the joint, he was malnourished (not sure how that happened since he buys all his own food) and his immune system had completely quit, he almost died. But thanks to his "hero" Dr. Nikki who simply told him to get it looked at, and some heroic saline solution he will LIVE!!! (Just not in Utopia). At the vote meeting, each of the three nominated Utopians gets to plead for their lives. Bella says she is sorry for being a "Garden Nazi" (which made me think of a garden gnome dressed up as Hitler) and "she really wants to be here", she even wore makeup and brushed her hair and she looked so sane I almost didn't recognize her. Red says there is communal living here, but if you give him individual freedom "we can git 'er done". Bri cries her way through her speech, she apologizes for screwing up the barn, and "she really wants to be here". Here are the results of the vote: Bella Chris - she is not a good person for Utopia Bri Ernesto - based on her performance Josh - the barn is a disaster and 100,000 people that voted for her online can't be wrong. Red Rob - can't forget how many times he walked out on the group Aaron - because he likes Red the least Kristen - says Red is irrational Amanda - not a good fit Hex - Red is useful only when he wants to be Taylor - thinks Red is an infection in the group Dedeker - the group changes to much to suit Red Mike - Red is a squeaky wheels and demands the grease. Nikki - Red is not in the same experiment as everyone else So with nine votes, Rob lets Red know that everyone loves him, but it's his time to go. Red says "this is not my project and I have a wonderful life outside". He gathers his stuff and walks out gate. Side Show Freaks & House Keeping We learned more about Josh's date night. Kristen sold him for $200 and Josh got somewhere between 5%-10%. Seems fair right? Josh developed a bucket delivery system from the house to the old fire pit, why you ask? No reason, just because. Mike met Melissa the "fan girl" on Sunday and made out with her. Everyone found out including Dedeker who said "that's awesome!" Next Time Two new rats possible Utopians arrive. Mike-topia is unleashed upon everyone and somehow Judge Judy is involved. Nikki becomes ill and Aaron becomes rude and disrespectful. See all of you next Friday!
Utopia Tuesday, September 30th, 2014 This Time Who voted for whom? Bri who obviously entered the Utopia environment at way to steep an angle is burning up. Bella finds new skills, and Hex is worried Utopia is not unique. Bri, Ouch, Ouch! OUCH! When your boyfriend is telling his buddies that he is not attracted to you anymore, I'm guessing it's over. When the other pioneers find out you are cutting the cow's food down just to save money, I'm guessing (again) it's over. Our Bri tries to make amends with Chris by writing down her innermost feelings in a letter and giving it to him. She waits for him to lie down in his corner of the barn, gently gets down on her knees and gives him the note, he tosses it on the box next to him and tells her he will read it later (ouch). She says "it's ok if you want "this" to be over, I just don't want it to be weird". We heard this same line the day before Chris's birthday, but they both succumbed to "birthday sex", although Chris did make her move out of his corner of the barn and live on her own. Chris says "you made it weird" Bri asks what he needs to feel better, and he says "space and time". Oh, ya, and he wants his sweatshirt back, and that black shirt too (Ouch!). With the vote looming, Momma Bear Amanda sits down with Bri to discuss who really is the "least productive member". Amanda has been speaking with other pioneers and Bri's name has come up several times. As Amanda a Bri milk one of the cows, Bri says coyly "who did you say you were voting for?" Amanda, "well Bri, I was actually thinking you." (OUCH!) If I was Bri I would have tapped out right then. Bri bravely goes on talking about "her" Utopia being about Love (because we know it's not about the starving barn animals). The Barn Apparently the Vets watch the live feeds! who knew? Not Bri, the vets watched her reduce the amount of feed to the pregnant cow, and the milk producing cow until they decided they needed to intervene due to a "marked difference" in body appearance. Red has been taking on the care and feeding of the animals for a long time now. The vets are impressed with his knowledge and attention to the animals. The vets gently explain why Bri should let Red take care of the animals from now on. Red gets on to Bri later and says you can call yourself a vet assistant all you want but the group comes to me to make sure you have ordered the food for the animals because they know you forget and they don't trust you. Red tells the group that he doesn't want Bri to get voted out because she is the only one that can help birth the calf who's birth IS imminent, in fact so imminent, it is born in the next paragraph. Congratulations, it's a girl!! CASH is born!! They name the new calf Cash (as in Cash Cow), we don't get to see how this happens, only Hex screaming that the calf has been born and a shot of Bri with a towel helping to clean the new born up. They want to sell the new calf so it has to be removed from its mother right away and be bottle fed. This is extremely upsetting to Bella (I have to admit a mild upset myself), who wants the calf to be able to drink from its mother milk. The mother is none too happy about the boys running off to the barn with her new born daughter either. Cash has a new hay bailed fenced area all its own, Red seems completely smitten and so do several of the other Utopians who stop by to play with her. A chicken stole the umbilical cord from the birth and ate it. I didn't have to tell you that, but I saw it, so you have to read it. The Vote before the Vote Many of you know who America voted for, Bri, and most of you know that Bella and Red where put up by the group for replacement. Let's have a quick rundown of who voted for who and why. It was Bella with 5 votes, a tie with 4 votes each for Bri and Red, and 2 votes for Aaron. Once the three nominees are decided, they will have a second vote with just the pioneers that are NOT nominated and decide who should be recycled. Votes for Bella Taylor - I think she has just given up Chris - She just never completes anything she starts Bri - Because Utopia is about unity, love and peace and Bella is none of those things. Kristen - No info Aaron - His best day was when Dave left and he thinks Bella forces her beliefs onto other people. Votes for Bri Josh - Because she has done the least Bella - Because she is lazy Ernesto- Strictly for business reasons Amanda - No info Votes for Red Rob - He gets too angry and it hurts the group Hex - He doesn't want to be part of the group Dedeker - He doesn't want to be part of the group Mike - Too rebellious Votes for Aaron Nikki - He doesn't make healthy food Red - We need a cook, not a chef, a cook would be up before the others for breakfast and keep the kitchen open during the day When it turns out to be a tie between him and Bri, Red nominates himself because he says "I know she doesn't want to go home." The group allows this and their two nominees are Bella and Red. Rob opens the envelope with Americas vote and several of them are very shocked to find that we have nominated Bri anyway. Side Show Freaks & House Keeping They did manage to sell a date with one of the Utopians, Josh went on a double date with two men who they affectionately called "plaid" and "stripes". Bella blamed some of the plants dying on the fact that Rob didn't help out with the watering. He tells her they bought her a hose for that and a sprinkler and the plants still died. Bella's new skill you say?? Oh yea, she is a now a painter. My guess is landscapes. Josh's government was ... "whatever, I don't care... but I am building a workshop which I am calling the love shack and I bought us some thick black plastic for a water slide". Hex is still worried that Utopia is no different than the outside world and it should just be called little America. The Bee Keeper, Jake, that Nikki liked is polyamorus and has much more in common with Dedeker, what will Mike think? Next Time We will find out who is going out the door and meet the two new replacements which the Utopia's will then vote who to keep. Will Bri and Bella change their attitude now that they know they can be "recycled" at the end of the month? The show looks to be scaling down to just one night a week on Fridays, would you like to see some spoilers here about what's going happening on the live feeds? Leave us a comment and let us know!!