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Utopia Friday, October 31st, 2014 **Note: Because Utopia was preempted last Friday, some of this recap information is not new to you, but it IS the first time we get to talk about the mass exodus of pioneers. Enjoy!** This Time And then there were 12. We get to see three Utopians walk through the gate never to return. A very "G" rated Halloween party was really XXX. Aaron says his "mission in Utopia is done" don't believe everything you see on TV. Amanda's sisters visit and Bella fights about what else? Food. Two weeks without a food fight, I know you missed it, don't lie. The Government Loves Me, It Loves Me Not Bri's turn at governing what not really a Government, a lot of them lately have been platforms to yak about how they feel, not set up rules or a foundation to live by. One of Cal's and Rob's biggest beefs lately has been that Utopia needs a mission statement, essentially goals to (not) live up to. Bri did a mental acrobatic flip-flop as she went from a totalitarian dictatorship (because remember she said Hitler may have gotten it right) to something called Love, Unity and Community. It almost ties your brain in a knot doesn't it? In any case, the general gist was to hug your neighbor I think, everyone does their best impression of a sloth and gets the hugging done. Mission Accomplished! The Ghosts of Utopia The live feeders have taken up residence in Utopia but, instead of an unseen, unfelt presence, we have finally graduated to Poltergeist status. WE now choose which three Utopians will be put up for replacement (see the new rules), we also choose which pioneer is the most productive and conducive to Utopia's success and reward that person with gifts. The pioneers still get to choose who to ultimately send packing, but giving us a chance to be involved and squash the cliquish behavior like an unwanted bug has been incredibly good fun. The fact that we get to do this EVER TWO WEEKS is even more satisfying. So if you are still not a "passport holder", that's a fancy way of saying you signed up on Utopia's website, you should do it now and get to bug squashin' and head patting, its free and comes with two camera views. (Also, they don't spam you, thank God) The Everlasting Gobstopper Food Fight Maybe you can help me out here, I know you come here for the latest information, but Bella's organic food situation has me at a loss. Bella has brought in, to date, about $5,000. That is 20% to her personally and 80% to the group fund. If Bella wants $125 a week in organic food purchases, why can't she just pay for it herself? She seems to be asking the group for $125 out of the group money for her food and taking the 20% from her painting business on top of that. I am not sure why this turns into a fight every week when she tries to put in a food order. They each have individual debt cards now, if she can afford it great, if she can't ::shrug:: she eats leaves and dandelions all the time anyway, not sure why this fight keeps happening. This scene was typical of all the another food fight melt downs only this one had chocolate on top! Mike wigged-out on Bella saying he "only gets $52 a month" for extras, and she wants over $400!! He then takes the dark chocolate bar Bella bought for a snack (anti-oxidants and all that you know), smashes it on the table, ate pieces off the floor, went around giving out pieces to everyone that wanted some and was generally being a big baby. He and Aaron specifically went after Bella (not seen on TV) telling her "ten days Bella, just ten days and you are gone" it was pretty ugly, and made for hysterical viewing online. The Cool Kids Club has been terrorizing Bella publicly and Nikki privately on and off since the beginning, telling Bella that her days are numbered. They have stolen her art, pushed her buttons (and she has alot of them) and have just been generally smug about them being in control. Problem is VIEWTOPIANS took over!!! It's not Bella that's likely to be put on the chopping block this week. The Very Adult Halloween Party ("Not" As Seen on TV) I'm not sure how to tell you all this, but people had sex. Many people had many kinds of different sex. Instead of gory details, let's just say at least half of our Utopians had a happy ending. Josh had a threesome in the bushes, Mike got lucky with Melissa (the fan girl) in the love shack. Chris was more discreet, but admitted to some action. Taylor and Hex hooked up, and Dedeker and Jake (the BeeKeeper) also sweated it up in a teepee/fort looking thing Cal built for women on their periods. Don't ask me, I was ick-ed out with just that little bit of info about the place. We saw an online friend of Utopia @bunnylovins show up with her husband dressed as "mootopians", very cute onsie cow costumes. They kindly left them for Nikki and Amanda to wear, keeping them warm and adorable for the whole winter we hope! They also hired a band that turned out to be impossibly cool and kept the party alive with cover tunes, but it turned out their own music was even better. Check them out Mursic. I'm not into giving shout outs, so don't ask, but the mootopians and the band just couldn't be ignored! Utopia Experiences Colony Collapse After Josh reads the letter delivered by production telling the Utopians the online viewers were now in control, the reactions were priceless. The Cool Kids were angry and distraught, (hmmm, I wonder why) everyone else seemed to find the new rules good, great or really interesting. Hex thinks because she is not a "girly-girl" she will be nominated, but Bella thinks "it will take away from tearing people down and turn it into supporting each other more". She also said "people on the outside, namely us, "see what they don't". Yes, yes we do. Josh thinks it's not about the most work, it's about contributing in a positive way. Cal readily agrees. Rob says "up to today we were going to bounce Bella's big butt right out the gate", now he thinks he is going up for replacement. Dedeker and Kristen think it's about being seen getting up early and going to work. Ernesto and Josh have it figured out, if you're a jerk, American is going to call you out on it. Aaron thinks "it won't be about who works the hardest, it will be 'I don't like you' because they saw me and Rob attacking Bella". Right on Aaron! (btw Aaron thinks it will be Bella and Josh up for replacement, delusional much?) Live viewers are a little drunk with so much power, makes you wonder if we are going to turn into power hungry monsters every two weeks and start demanding a cut of the group fund! After Amanda (yes, we noticed Rob is no longer the spokesman of Utopia, hmmm) announces that Aaron, Bri and Rob are nominated for replacement the group goes their separate ways. Bri sits down with Rob under a tree and wonders why America has chosen her twice now. Bri says "If you can't even have love, what is the point of this?" "**Sigh**... Whatever... I'm going home." AND SHE DOES!! She got right up, walked straight to the gate and was gone, POOF! That was no TV editing trick, that is exactly how it went down. Chris packed up her things and wrote her a letter. We hope it started out with "I know I was a complete jerk and treated you like crap...". Next we have Mike. While the kids Halloween party (for Charity) was going on the day after the x-rated adult party, Mike got some information from production. They told him his father had called, something was wrong with his mother and he had to get home immediately, production had a ticket waiting for him. While we find out later it was not life threatening, we wish Mike and his family all the best of luck during this time. Mike will NOT be returning to Utopia. Conspiracy theorists WARP 10! Time to Play: Beg For Your Life I have to admit, I hate this part of the process, bringing people in to beg to stay in any reality show is usually pretty uncomfortable. That being said, here is how it went down. Aaron said "I have not been the nicest guy and I have been pretty unapproachable", but his mission is not done. This is exactly the opposite of what he really said. He said he thinks he IS done in Utopia, and that Rob is the better person to stay. I am not quite sure why Fox choose to edit his speech that way, because the Utopians used Aaron's speech for discussion on who to vote out many, many time. (See the full vote here). Rob says he has been in a funk since Jess left but he thinks Utopia can really be something and he wants to be a part of it. Here are the results. For Aaron to Leave Nikki - She was going to vote for Rob, but Aaron says he is done Cal - Ditto to what Nikki said, Aaron says he is done and Rob wants to stay Josh - Rob has something to add to the community Taylor - Aaron says he is done Amanda - Rob wants to find a purpose, Aaron says he is done Hex - Rob is my BFF For Rob to Leave Kristen - She still has things to learn from Aaron Ernesto - Mumble, mumble Rob should leave Bella - She has hope for Aaron who wants to change Chris - Rob threatened to walk out on us Dedeker - The right choice is not the one I want That made it six for Aaron to leave and five for Rob. At the last minute when the hands were raised and discussion was closed, Josh changed his vote and Rob was sent home to Jess. Taylor and Hex completely broke down, Taylor hitting things and Hex just sobbing uncontrollably. Rob said "don't be sad, I'm going to see Jess" Side Show Freaks & House Keeping Amanda has a twin sister! Her name is Amy. Amy and Amanda's older sister Alex came to visit and half the people online and in Utopia wanted them to stay forever. Hex, Taylor and Cal all got letters from home. Well, Cal got a letter from his commune in Oregon. He invited Bri to the commune before she walked out and Chris who doesn't care what Bri does at all, was so jealous he wanted to kick Call's ass. We saw Jake and Mike get in to it this episode, here is the full ridiculousness of it we covered in last week's recap. Mike vs Jake the Beekeeper Part1, and Part2. Aaron's emergency room visit for the attack of the ear plug turned out to be nothing. He claimed he may have ruptured his ear drum taking his ear plug out too fast. But Fox didn't even see fit to cover it. Maybe Aaron just needed a mid-day outing in an ambulance. Josh is exempt from replacement this voting cycle, but we can talk about that later. Next Time We already have two new Utopians (whom I secretly love so far), James and Jeremy. Jeremy brought tractor parts with him and his mission is to get the damn thing running. James I think brought hair dye and is re-making Bella. I can't wait! The voting is now open to kill off yet another three pioneers, you can only vote once, so make it count! That's it fans and hate-watchers. Let us know if you have any questions, and leave us any comments you are dying to make.
Utopia Friday, October 24th, 2014 **Note: Utopia is preempted tonight by the world series. That is technically reality TV too, but it's not our much needed fix of lame food drama, bad decision making, and back-stabbing. We are going to give you a recap on this week's events to help keep you informed and addicted while Utopia is on hiatus. We've thrown in a few more video links than usual to help you forget about the missing episode. Enjoy!** This Time We have the juiciest update of the whole season so far!! (no, the show isn't canceled) but production seems to be just as disgusted as we all are about the pioneers squandering this opportunity at a new society and has stripped them of their rights to nominate anyone for eviction and given the power to the live feeders! So I guess Operation "Rattle Nikki" just went down the crapper, and so did the CKC (the Cool Kids Club, aka The Utopian Mafia). Here are the new voting rules. Let's Talk About the Cool Kids Behind Their Backs ...And in the beginning there was Aaron and Kristen. They decided (for no discernible reason)it was them against the rest of Utopia, and that was the snake in Utopia's garden. Some of the Utopian weekend visitors snitched on them to the other pioneers, and thus was the hate between Nikki and Aaron born. Mike, Aaron and Kristen wanted Nikki out on the first vote, but figured out they didn't have the votes to git 'er done. Since then Mike, Aaron and Kristen have hooked up with Rob and Taylor. They have all turned to the dark side. Operation Rattle Nikki was meant to upset her so she would have a verbal altercation with someone, or just blow up in general and our dark lords of dystopia could use her actions to get her up as a nominee for eviction. We pretty much knew Aaron, Kristen and Mike (Mr. & Mrs. Shady and their shyster lawyer) started out on the dark side, (although you have to admit, Mike hid it pretty well in the beginning)but how in the world did Rob and Taylor end up being seduced by the dark arts? I blame it all on Red. The minute he passed through the gate whatever mean, nasty, aggressive, foul, festering spirit left his body and took up residence in Rob's. We saw Rob go from being a calm, thoughtful, goal oriented leader to a dish/cutlery throwing, art stealing, foul mouthed, misogynistic, fit throwing douche bag. Rob managed to suck Taylor into the group even when Aaron couldn't do it with the lure of extra food and liquor. When Rob went bad, he went real, real bad. Aaron has been relieved of his "Chef" status since Tuesday the 21st and Nikki and Cal have been killing it in the kitchen! Full breakfasts and dinners with plenty for all. It's only supposed to be for a week, but Aaron is completely bent out of shape about it. He threw out a pea soup Cal and Nikki were cooking on the stove, and I mean threw it outside in the dirt (accidentally on purpose). He started an argument with Nikki over who was going to cook what with the 100 or so pumpkins Jake the bee keeper brought over, made some lovely comments like "I just don't like how late she serves it" "She doesn't give us options" "Her oatmeal tastes like snot" and "The kitchen is always a mess". He has a point about the kitchen, well the stove anyway, if the rumors of a maggot colony are true. (Pardon me while I puke.) He has also generally slept the day away rather than work in the garden like he said he would. Kristen got some strait talk from the online viewers who posted comments on her "blog". They were pretty direct, and while no one approves of personal attacks about her looks (who cares?) the rest were pretty on the money and instead of taking any of the advise or remarks to heart, she tried to tell herself and others it was from just one sad, lonely person. Many of the Utopians read the comments before production got involved and deleted everything and shut it down. But we all know, nothing ever goes away once its lose on the web. So if you want to read what she got hammered with here it is. Hex threatened to come to everyone's home (when she leaves Utopia)that left a comment and Rob wants us to fly to California and say that stuff to his face. But pay the $20 to get in first. Now we get to Mike. Mike had a complete and total meltdown this week. Mike in my opinion needed some thorazine. His breakup with Dedeker, which was all his idea by the way, has him unhinged. He threw the most massive, out of control, fit when Jake the bee keeper came by to drop off some honey and pumpkins. Mike shouted at him like a loon out on the dock and then started pumpkin chunkin all the gourds he could get his hands on. I think every Utopian on the farm at one point tried to calm him down, only problem is most of them laughed uncomfortably through the whole revolting scene. They seemed to think the best way to handle it was to make Mike feel like he was being funny. It wasn't funny, it was awkward in the extreme. I will give you the link to the shit-show because we have no episode to watch this week, but viewer discretion is advised for people sensitive to stupidity. Mike vs Jake the Beekeeper Part1, and Part2. Taylor I'm going to say is just misguided and hope that he isn't in too deep not to be able to get the stink of felonious bad behavior off of him with just a good bar of beeswax soap he can buy from Dedeker for $10. We're the Cool Kids Now By the time you read this, the voting for who you wanted booted out of Utopia will be closed, and the three people with the most votes will be up for elimination. Mike and Rob are both TRYING to get nominated and put out at this point because the payoff is about $10,000 when you leave, but only after one year or being voted off by the other pioneers. Slick huh? So look for them to go really big from now till the eviction on Halloween with the worst crap they can dream up. Before the announcement of the change in rules, several of our Dark Side pioneers were threatening others in the group with eviction. Rob and Aaron specifically threatened Bella with "10 more days and bye bye Bella". The Fox Utopian website itself said the producers had noticed this alarming trend. Now whether that means they decided it was time for some drastic action or just sped up the process of changing the voting no one is saying. I personally think this is a fantastic turn of events, no doubt it makes it seem like much more of a game show considering the next vote America has to make tomorrow (Saturday the 25th) will be who we think has done the MOST for Utopia and that person will receive immunity for the next vote and some type of gift/prize that the new prospective Utopians will bring in with them when they arrive. Confused yet? Our pioneers sure aren't I can tell you. The Cool Kid's Club doubled their work hours, apologized to whatever camera was closest and became fast friends with the people they were threatening just moments before the new rules were read. Chris becoming besties with Bella was hysterically funny to watch, but he has to keep his lip buttoned from now on or America may just nominate him for being a "big meanie". Of course this is true for all but Mike and Rob, remember, they want out, but they are only going out with the money, which means they have to be voted out. Clear as mud? Good. Side Show Freaks & House Keeping Bri must have found a stash Red forget to take with him because her blog of Oct 22nd tells us spring is almost over. Bri also tells Cal that Nikki is just not that into him when he comes to her for relationship advice. She does however think that Chris is ready to "pop the question" since they were talking about ring sizes the other day. Oh, I almost forgot, one of the cows peed in her eye the other day when she was milking it. You think that was payback for her starving them a few weeks ago? Hex and Taylor broke up last week, got back together within six hours, and now Taylor wants out again. I'm not sure if Hex really gives a flying fig at this point, but Kristen sure does if Taylor is going to be officially single. That ought to add another ring of hell in Utopia as you watch your recent lover crawl into bed with a new lover in a sleeping bag no more than 20 feet away from you and your now cold and empty sleeping bag. Bella is teaching herself how to use eBay and PayPal since Kristen won't teach her how to auction her paintings. If Bella sells her paintings, the CKC couldn't steal the profits for themselves, doesn't matter anymore however, because Bella ain't gonna be the one going home on All Hallows Eve thanks to the rules change, but Kristen might be. Don't worry about her though, she has everything covered "I can start a new company the second I walk out those doors, and just by attaching my name to it, it will be successful," she tells Aaron. Bella's latest estimate for the paintings up for auction was $2,700. Now that Fox has sped up the turnover rate in Utopia to every two weeks, (almost as fast as your nearest McDonald's) they are trying to keep some secrets for the episodes airing every Friday night so we have a lot more audio muting and highlight reels running. If you notice something is off, it's not you, it's them. Utopia is putting out something called a work log now. The idea is everyone is tracked and we get a daily report showing what type and how much work our pioneers are doing. Here is the report for Oct 22nd, before they found out about the rules change and here is the report for Oct 23rd. Some people made some huge changes for the better and some for the worse. Rob seems to have come "un-stuck" last night. He disappeared OFF the farm. Now, the rules don't allow you to come back if you leave Utopia willingly, but many people believe that Rob is pretty tight with production and gets some special treatment. Rob himself said he just had to leave and speak to some "other people". Problem is he was gone for the whole night and didn't show back up until around 10am this morning. While the Fox people are pretty diligently trying to keep us from hearing the pioneers talk about this event, it seems more than a little sketchy. We will keep you posted with any concrete info we get regarding Rob's AWOL adventure. Next Time Find out why Aaron went to the emergency room for something that happened with his ear plugs. I'm still trying to get an answer back from Fox if the pioneers qualify for Obamacare to cover all these ER visits. Find out who has switched sides and decided to come out of the darkness and into the light, well anytime there is a camera around anyway. Mama Bear Amanda had a little false alarm with some contractions a few nights ago. She isn't supposed to be due for another 30+ days, but babies don't care about Network Programming Schedules. That's it fans and hate-watchers. Let us know if you have any questions, and leave us any comments you are dying to make.